The undemocratic part is we were given a choice and no matter how slim the majority (given some elections 4% is not a slim majority) they should have been working towards leaving.
Then as has happened the unelected eurocrats sensing that the majority of politicians didn’t like the result put forward their plan / deal (Theresa May’s so called deal) which they knew full well wouldn’t be acceptable and chaos has ensued. There was no negotiation just this is how it is and we’re not changing anything, regardless. The sneaky sods created the Irish Border problem, which should be treated like the Swiss border, but wouldn’t have created any problems.
For me what this highlights is that our politicians and civil service have been little more than by-standers since 1973 in terms of negotiating anything with the rest of world. Now the idea of leaving the eu fills them with dread as they will have to do these things and be fully accountable if it goes wrong and or needs changing. Also they lose the default answer of “the eu made us do it” when it comes to taxes etc. We had to introduce VAT on things to stay aligned with the eu.
I liken remain politicians to the appeasers 80 years ago who wanted to cut a deal with the Germans. Thankfully it never happened.