Need some advice

[MattB]

Although our kids were always told (as my dad told me and my brother) keep away from and ignore the idiots and they’ll soon get bored. it worked for me and my brother. I had a pretty torrid time at school from time to time, but you just got on with it. If someone said "I’m going to beat you up’ etc you avoided them and you know what they didn’t ever do it, despite seeing them everyday.

And that would be your advice to one of your cadets would it?

[AlexCorbin]

Fairly confident if a cadet came to me claiming they are belling bullied and i told them to just ignore the bully…id be shown the door

[MattB]

Fairly confident if a cadet came to me claiming they are belling bullied and i told them to just ignore the bully…id be shown the door

And rightly so!

[Farmerdan]

From what I’ve read here please tell me Mr non stick is no longer a CO, or even a member of staff.

[Giminion]

So what you’re saying is that, as OC, you can’t maintain discipline on your unit and you do nothing to dissuade what is zero-tolerance behaviour.

I’ll give you 10/10 for honesty

[pEp]

Don’t feed the troll

[bob]

And that would be your advice to one of your cadets would it?

And, when the Corps is unable to or doesn’t investigate instances of bullying and harrasment properly as has been documented with various threads here please suggest an answer.

[Giminion]

when the Corps is unable to or doesn’t investigate instances of bullying and harrasment properly

That’s exactly what @MattB was referring to - an OC openly unwilling to address the problem.

[bob]

That’s exactly what @MattB was referring to - an OC openly unwilling to address the problem.

Not just the OC but far further up the CoC as well, right to the very top.

[Giminion]

Well yeah, but that’s irrelevant if the OC doesn’t act or report it - which is what you weighed in on. It can’t be investigated “by corps” if the OC fails in their duty.

You’ve tried to pick a hole in an argument against an OC not acting with “what if corps doesn’t do anything?”. I can tell you now that “corps” wouldn’t do anything because they wouldn’t know about it!

[nette_louu]

As of today it’s been almost a month since the sqn CO said he was spending the next 2 or 3 parade nights investigating.
He even said he would invite us with our children to the sqn to discuss his findings - however there have been 6 parade nights and I’ve still not heard anything.
He claimed to be in contact with Wing Command and the Commanding officer of the annual camp where this all started.

How long do I assume he’s still investigating?
or do I go with my gut and believe that because my children have decided against going back until it was sorted, that instead of investigating and sorting it’s been swept under the carpet and ignored?

I ask as he’s not been back in touch, with me or my children.
Surely if he’s fully investigating then he should want to speak to my children and hear their version?
To be able to make an informed decision - or am I wrong?

[big_g]

Give him another week that would make it 4weeks
Which would I feel considerable time to get some information together. Give them a quick call and then ask is it ok to go along and get a quick catch up in person.
It’s probably best to speak face to face in person I think it gets you a better feel on what’s actually happening rather than on the phone. It may also give the OC the opertunity to say no as it’s been taken for their hands.

We are all guessing to what’s going on, we have your information but you know you don’t have all the info on what the OC has done or happened, it maybe now Wing are looking in to it.

Please remember it’s a volunteer organisation, so something may of taken the OC away from doing this (family, work etc) or the cadets he needs to speak to haven’t been down so the OC can’t get the information required so if they say that then don’t be shocked, unfortunately these things do happen we can’t always sort things as quickly as we would want to

[steve679]

given the length of time i cannot see what would be wrong with a polite nudging reminder and request of progress.

it will almost certainly result in a stock answer along the lines of “investigation is on going, we have been trying to liaise with everyone involved which has been harder than expected”

which could well be a lie but behind the words is the realisation you are wanting to see resolution.

alternatively it could well be the truth and more information could be provided.

I wouldn’t go in slamming the fact this volunteer has missed a deadline. It could well have opened the door to other issues which has complicated the investigation.

Dear Flt Lt Smith, OC 123 Sqn,

you will recall our conversation on regarding the which my son/daughter/ward is involved in.

I was grateful you took on board my concerns and reassured you would be investigating.
Now approaching a month after our initial/last discussion/correspondence and enquiring what progress has been made.

Sincerely nette_louu

or words to that effect

Edit: big_g beat me to it!
this is a volunteer your dealing with, not an excuse, but a reason why factors haven’t progressed and timings slipped.
either a polite email or phone call would help give you answers

[nette_louu]

Oh I totally understand that we all have lives outside the cadets. And if he’s still investigating then so be it.
It just felt like it was dragging a bit!

My kids don’t want to return until it’s sorted and if it’s not sorted then they’ve said they don’t want to return, throwing away almost 2 years.

We know something has been said as kids who attend the same school and sqn have started mentioning things about the incident to my kids!

I wait until 1st March - it would have been a full month since the incident on their first night back.

Thanks for you help

[big_g]

I wouldn’t go in slamming the fact this volunteer has missed a deadline. It could well have opened the door to other issues which has complicated the investigation.

Very true I have seen it happen first hand and this has in turn needed extra support from staff out with the sqn to help. What I expected to take 1week or 2 parade nights ended up taking 4months to resolve.

[big_g]

Oh I totally understand that we all have lives outside the cadets. And if he’s still investigating then so be it.
It just felt like it was dragging a bit!

Then I am very pleased you realise that,
I have had parents expecting results within 24hrs and even suggest that I change occupation to accommodate this.

[nette_louu]

As I said from his original comment, he said next few parade nights, i expected at least a short message for an update.
But messages have not been replied too.

I will hang on an extra week and then I dont think its too much to ask for an update, even if the problem is not resolved/fully investigated.

[DontCallMeSir]

Please remember it’s a volunteer organisation, so something may of taken the OC away from doing this (family, work etc) or the cadets he needs to speak to haven’t been down so the OC can’t get the information required so if they say that then don’t be shocked, unfortunately these things do happen we can’t always sort things as quickly as we would want to

I don’t class those who are eligible to claim pay as “Volunteers” but that’s just me and a whole other discussion. I’m just a CI and when I have been asked things by parents I keep them in mind and make sure I message them and not leave it hanging so to speak, so a quick phone call to OC Bert on a parade night to ask what stage it is up to wont’t hurt. First thing I would say is ‘I understand Cadets is not a full time job and life often gets in the way of all things RAFAC but’ can I have a little update on what is going on please.

[Justjim]

I don’t class those who are eligible to claim pay as “Volunteers”

Are you forgetting the ‘V’ part in CFAV? We’re all volunteers and we all volunteer in differing ways, the fact I can claim VA doesn’t mean I’m employed.