Need some advice

[nette_louu]

I am not saying my kids are angels but they lost a family member they were close to a few months before joining to suicide so would never tell anyone to kill themselves or die.

I see where you are coming from about it being one sided but its hard to get anything from the other kids carers as they change, as i said i never saw the same person collect them on more than 1 occasion.

One sided or not, they do not deserve to be treated unfairly because of 1 cadets word - thats then the squadron acting on ‘one side of the story’
Since they went back they received, via the sqn private facebook group chat, rude and nasty messages which have been screenshot and sent to sqn, none of which my children instigated, so all i was asking for was advice and guidance.

and if as you say its ‘one side of the story’ please explain how new JCs whom my children only met for the first time a week ago knew about the incident at the annual camp from last year, or these so called things my children have supposedly said.
If they were there i’d have understood but these JCs only joined in Sept 2018, while my kids were at a different sqn over 80 miles away!! The only way they would know is from this other cadet - who started it all

[Teflon]

Kids are and will be kids. In all types of school and all types of youth groups there will be jealousies and vindictiveness. We also have to accept that even our own children aren’t always what we would like.

When your children moved back or were rumoured to be doing so, others would have said something about them and some who weren’t there would have joined in. There could be some intervention by staff but that presents the very real danger of making things much worse.

Distance has not been a barrier for good or bad to be passed for centuries.

I don’t think we can expect Air Cadets to be angels, I know we weren’t when I was a cadet, we did and said things that never got picked up and had things happen to us that we just took, that viewed differently now. They and we were after all just teenagers, learning and picking our way through the morass that is life.

[bfg]

This matter has been referred to higher authority and i would suggest it is better dealt with in accordance with policy rather than on a public forum.

The matter is to be referred to the WExO on Monday morning but if you wish to discuss before then then please contact depoc.xxxxx@aircadets.org or cpa.xxxxx@aircadets.org xxxxx being the wing your children belong to.

[Rumpole]

This matter has been referred to higher authority and i would suggest it is better dealt with in accordance with policy rather than on a public forum.

… and shut down. Don’t be dissuaded nette_lou … you are a parent and have support out here.

Don’t also blindly accept assurances about being dealt with in accordance with policy as the record shows this is biased toward protecting the club.

Your problems are private, but in posting here, you illustrate the problems discussed elsewhere on this forum in which such uniformed behaviour is claimed not to happen and ATC-HQ decry accountability.

[bob]

Are you the OC or a WSO in the wing??

[bob]

Indeed this problem is far more widespread than recognised or even admitted too.

Yet another instance, neete-lou, pooly handled and very poorly managed, I know the original OP for this case, and their integerity is top notch,

Bullying,harrassment and a blind eye being turned

Hi, I am looking for some advice if I may, my son is being bullied and harassed by a staff cadet (allegedly) at his squadron. This is not isolated to him and after multiple complaints against this individual nothing is happening. The CO of the squadron socialises with the family in question ( a parent is on the civilian committee and is present at every drill night.) There seems to be a culture of threats and intimidation at the squadron, ranging from threats of loss of rank to being removed fro…

[nette_louu]

I have purposely not mentioned either sqn, my children by name nor the other cadets by name because I was told it was ‘being handled’
As of today I have not heard anything, and i dont know who bfg is nor have i used a user name that in any way related to my actual name - so for bfg to say its been referred worries me
The purpose of my post was to ask for advice for next steps - I now feel like you are wanting me to withdraw a post intended for advice - I haven’t named anyone and well within my right to defend my children from malicious lies!

[bob]

PM sent.

[MattB]

Kids are and will be kids. In all types of school and all types of youth groups there will be jealousies and vindictiveness. We also have to accept that even our own children aren’t always what we would like.

When your children moved back or were rumoured to be doing so, others would have said something about them and some who weren’t there would have joined in. There could be some intervention by staff but that presents the very real danger of making things much worse.

Distance has not been a barrier for good or bad to be passed for centuries.

I don’t think we can expect Air Cadets to be angels, I know we weren’t when I was a cadet, we did and said things that never got picked up and had things happen to us that we just took, that viewed differently now. They and we were after all just teenagers, learning and picking our way through the morass that is life.

Wow.

Kids will indeed be kids - and adults like you are supposed to rein in their excesses and stop this sort of thing from happening.

[Teflon]

Yep you try and rein it in bur doesn’t mean it will stop.

[MattB]

The voice of leadership there.

[AlexCorbin]

Fairly sure an autocratic leadership style can deliver results when delivered in the right qay towards those more challenging cadets

[Teflon]

Nope the voice of a parent which brings a whole different experience and things that I can’t do as a squadron commander, but you hope that parents enforce, if you have occasion to speak to them.

Although our kids were always told (as my dad told me and my brother) keep away from and ignore the idiots and they’ll soon get bored. it worked for me and my brother. I had a pretty torrid time at school from time to time, but you just got on with it. If someone said "I’m going to beat you up’ etc you avoided them and you know what they didn’t ever do it, despite seeing them everyday.

[MattB]

Although our kids were always told (as my dad told me and my brother) keep away from and ignore the idiots and they’ll soon get bored. it worked for me and my brother. I had a pretty torrid time at school from time to time, but you just got on with it. If someone said "I’m going to beat you up’ etc you avoided them and you know what they didn’t ever do it, despite seeing them everyday.

And that would be your advice to one of your cadets would it?

[AlexCorbin]

Fairly confident if a cadet came to me claiming they are belling bullied and i told them to just ignore the bully…id be shown the door

[MattB]

Fairly confident if a cadet came to me claiming they are belling bullied and i told them to just ignore the bully…id be shown the door

And rightly so!

[Farmerdan]

From what I’ve read here please tell me Mr non stick is no longer a CO, or even a member of staff.

[Giminion]

So what you’re saying is that, as OC, you can’t maintain discipline on your unit and you do nothing to dissuade what is zero-tolerance behaviour.

I’ll give you 10/10 for honesty

[pEp]

Don’t feed the troll

[bob]

And that would be your advice to one of your cadets would it?

And, when the Corps is unable to or doesn’t investigate instances of bullying and harrasment properly as has been documented with various threads here please suggest an answer.