A very succint appreciation, throw in if both sets of parents are happy and have set the boundries, is it for the RAFAC to become involved? What is the likelihood of both of them being at the same place at the same time on RAFAC activities being in different wings etc?
Easy option is for them for one or both of them to leave.
A solution where, quite likely, only the organisation ends up happy!
this is my thoughts.
we had two Cadets who had a scrap after school in the market square when one approached the other.
it wasnât about a Cadet topic or incident, they were not in uniform, nothing made it our issue yet my OC insisted we sit them down for an interview and consider their options - eg ban them both for a fortnight or similiar.
yes we need to address how the situation could play out at Squadron, but play a part in disciplining them?
i fail to see how it is our responsibilty.
much the same in this one. Mel in this example is no different to any other parent on Squadron - discussion with their daughter who knows one of the party.
this isnât a concerned Cadet coming to Staff to raise an issue, this is a child talking to their parent - or at least is how it appears.
there are two sets of parents/guardians in the situation, plus one of the party is an adult themselves - at which point does the hand of the RAFAC come down with force??
like i say i am not agreeing with the situation these Cadets are in, but i question what there is to be gained by getting involved in something which has other people (adults) already tied up and involvedâŚ
perhaps i am coming in with the wrong approach, but for me i have to draw the line somewhere - else where does it end - do we then report every canoodling teenage couple on the swings because we could?
Is it a relationship or is it just friends who happen to have common ground? From experience the younger one is going to be more âexcitedâ about it than the older one. More kudos at that age.
The vast majority of relationships start as you have some common ground and the ATC is not immune from it. Be it staff or cadet and sometimes the lines get a bit blurred.
The point about girls maturing faster is not a myth, their hormones have been raging in many instances since they are 10/11 and have been learning the art of twisting men around their fingers for 6/7 years before that, ask any dad with a daughter. I would say girls are much more sexually aware from an earlier age than boys.
It is said they are different Wings and Regions, well letâs be honest that could be 500 miles or 500yds, so thatâs irrelevant.
First off speak to the lad who is at your end and just say how it looks to you, ie you think they are in a sexual relationship and thatâs illegal purely because they are both cadets and heâs over 18, just. Then get into touch with the council LADO and see what they have to say. Leave the ATC bods out of the picture, as they are amateurs in all these things. A council LADO will have a lot more experience and be a lot better placed to advise.
Steve is right at which point do we stop? I donât know but does everyone who works with kids always think the worst?
I mean surely if the two parents/carers are happy with the situation then why would it be necessary, as long as RAFAC is made aware of it and are able to apply their own rules for Safeguarding then I donât really see an issue. Of course, there should be some people up in the chain of command aware so that they can monitor the situation and prevent any issues.
Absolutely not!
This is where it gets very messyâŚ
Our club, our rules laid out very simply for all to see.
When we deviate then we open the door to alsorts of rubbish.
Parents are happy just now what about in 6months something goes wrong and then? Parents go to the press andâŚ
Headlines: ATC covers for sexual predator:
Flt lt Bloggs knowingly allowed a deviant to sexual assaultâŚ
Nobody cares what the actual story is after thatâŚ
We have rules for this follow them and thatâs it nice and simple
The easiest solution is to make this someone elseâs problem.
Tell your wing CPA and let them deal with it.
^^^^^
Steve, very simply the cadets sign the cadet promise,
⌠to be a good citizenâŚ
Fighting isnât being a good citizen. If it was me a heavy handed talk would be happening and both told if it happens again then there would be no good activities for the pair of them for about 6 months and I would remind them it was them who agreed to this by joining the corps
I had a cadet who was failing at school no homework being completed etc, I knew his teachers took him aside told him he wasnât showing the correct attitude I would expect from a cadet and again a good citizen, banned him from going to camps until ALL his home work was up to date and that he was improving his test results. He didnât like it but tough⌠he is doing his highest now.
We donât have a lot of power but a swift kick up the bum and hit them where it hurts it might just change someoneâs attitude and give them the motivation to succeed in life.
And he tells you very politely and âwith respect Sirâ itâs not on the RAFAC business etc and can you prove your allegation? Because if you canât and you are working on heresay then his leads you into places you really would not want to go.
So you believe that you are an extension of a situation he has at school? Was it affecting his performance on the Squadron, if so you may just have a point, if not it is really not a concern of yours, it is between him, the school and his parents.
What if he had issues at school of which you were unaware which may have led to him being disaffected at school. The Squadron may have been his one point of stability in his life which you removed from him.
It is for his parents to discipline him over school, by restricting his attendence at camps etc not yours. if I was the cadet any my squadron activities had not been affect Iâd have put a formal complaint into the Wing Commander plus copies ot the RC and CRAFAC and expect action to be taken against you.
You have seriously overstepped the mark here in your actions.
and what if he simply ended up leaving because he couldnât handle the further stress from cadets? He loses out on valuable opportunities and ends up as just another underperforming kid on the streets.
Totally agree, I was bullied at school, performance suffered and the ATC was my sheet anchor. Remove this and well ???
Thatâs a big one. Especially for me where cadets is a massive escape from the stress of everything going on in life; I genuinely donât know where Iâd be without the Corps and the support of other cadets
And back on topic please.
I disagree. I was paid in my job to be aggressive and to âfightâ and I enjoyed it and was good at it. I was also a good citizen. And still continue to be a good citizen.
Fighting and violence isnât the problem. Itâs the application and the context behind it. Sometimes a situation needs a violent solution.
It happened outside cadets. Itâs left at the door until it becomes an issue.
And same on the homework situation. Itâs not your place.
Back on topic, everyone is wading in on this. Been some good points and bad points.
But has anyone actually spoken to the lad?
And as I said when spoken too states have you any proof or evidence of anything beyond frienship and says âwith respect Sir, either put up or shut upâ
If CPO says not enough for actionâŚ
âIâm not accusing you of anything, but Iâve heard that this may be going on - I donât know if itâs true. I need to inform you that if any evidence of wrongdoing comes to light I will have no choice but to report it under my duty of care. I need to remind you that the law states this and RAFAC policy states this. As a staff cadet you have a responsibility to younger cadets iaw ACP 4. Iâve brought this to your attention because you need to seriously consider your actions and how they may be interpreted even if innocent.â
Female âsexual awakeningâ has been commented on above. Iâve seen examples of what is essentially a younger girl seducing and older guy, but the law and most sensible peopleâs morals donât recognise that as a defence - the responsibility is with the adult in the situation. Many 18 year old lads are still quite naive and coming to terms with their own hormones. Nowt wrong with taking an opportunity to try to bring some perspective to the situation if someone is at risk of ruining their life.
I would, however, still refer this to Wing CPO and if they advised at that stage or if I had direct knowledge or continued reports I would be seeking suspension.
Nice to see some of the usual hang âem high comments. There is always a heavy handed approach solution suggested when itâs cadets, what happens with staff? By staff I mean volunteers and permanent.
Say a member of staff makes a âwrong decisionâ or has clouded judgement would we be so heavy-handed?
What if a member of staff (not just blokes) âŚ
is sexually promiscuous
is married and has a string of affairs
has relationships with parents of cadets
gets divorced after seeing another member of the Corps
enjoys a good drink
has a bad gambling habit
gets done for something not in the kiddy fiddler grouping, without a custodial element
Would people be telling them to sling their hook and if they said no, what would be the next step youâd take. Iâve known all of these things and nothing has happened. It has involved all strands of staff. None of them have been clandestine, with cadets knowing just as much, if not more, as anyone. Personally Iâm not overly bothered as they are adults and itâs not our place to moralise, given there are so many holes elsewhere in the organisation.
We operate double standards advocating all manner of grief for cadets doing nothing as immoral as per first few listed.
None of those things are illegalâŚ