Hi there.
Hopefully someone will be able to clarify something for me.
If two cadets from different squadrons and different wings start dating outside cadets is it a problem? Male cadet is just 18 female is 14 1/2. From what I can see ACP4 talks about cadets in the same squadron… tia
ACP4 covers the whole organisation. The paragraph you need to refer to are:
Inappropriate Relationships between 18+ Staff Cadets and Younger Cadets
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Cadets who reach 18 years of age, although still cadets, are adults in the eyes of the law and are deemed to be in positions of trust over younger cadets (similar to members of staff). It is therefore particularly important that all cadets aged 18 or over (Staff Cadets) are aware of the implications of any potential for inappropriate relationships with younger cadets. A sexual relationship with a child under the age of 16 is a criminal offence and such a relationship is therefore forbidden. A sexual relationship between a Staff Cadet and a cadet of 16 or 17 years of age is a contravention of ACP1 and of the guidelines contained in this publication (Chapter 2, paragraphs 10-12) when a Staff Cadet is considered to be in a position of trust over the younger cadet and is therefore forbidden
Relationships between Cadets -
Relationships between cadets occur and the RAFAC has no wish to inhibit free association, especially if such relationships do not affect discipline nor impact on the efficiency or effectiveness of the sqn or where there are no other child protection issues. However, the following may be considered to be inappropriate during RAFAC activities:
• close and exclusive emotional relationships involving public displays of affection or intimacy, including sexual relations when on RAFAC activities or premises, and,
• a relationship that involves, or gives the appearance of involving, partiality, preferential treatment or improper use of rank or appointment.
- This guidance is not intended to inhibit friendships, camaraderie or teamwork (with no sexual connotation).
It likely should end and end now before it ends badly.
It shouldn’t even have started. An 18 year old and a 14 year old? Inappropriate inside or outside of any organisation.
Sorry not sorry, I’d be reporting him and not letting him anywhere near my Squadron.
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Staff would have duty of care to report it. If able to prove the relationship was innapropriate the over 18 would be facing criminal prosecution for very serious offences
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I agree with @Giminion on this. 14 and 18 years old shouldn’t happen inside or outside cadets and may beg the question of grooming or CSE (especially as in different regions where unlikely they’ve met up). If it is grooming (just a suspicion btw) and they have never met there is a good chance this person may not even be in the RAFAC and is just saying this to create a link to the cadet in question (you can easily detect a lot of cadets as cadets from their social media profiles. Especially those such as Facebook with pages like ‘You Know You’ve Been An Air Cadet Too Long When…). Just to remind people though, I may be completely wrong. This is just a general warning (just did safeguarding at work so that’s why I picked up so much on this.)
If I’m completely wrong please don’t tear me to shreds over it
AMW
Valid concerns - let’s hope it’s nothing so malicious, but not be blind to the potential.
Like everyone else has said, that age gap is too much and the 18 year old will be wanting things that the 14 year old shouldn’t even be thinking about. Best advice is to end the relationship, there’s no reason not to keep it as friends at most though.
Thanks everyone for your replies. Just to put minds at rest the lad is definitely a cadet, not a predator pretending to be someone he isn’t. I think reading between the lines of what’s been said between the two parties, they feel their options are 1. Do nothing and carry on (not wise) 2. Pretend it’s finished (they’re not keen as goes against their ethics) 3. Him leave cadets (shame if it comes to that).
@Lightening That’s pretty much all it is to be fair with a bit of kissing, meet once every couple of weeks, movie and McDonald’s- kids stuff
Time will tell…
Even the kissing could be sufficient for some jail time, as could be interpreted as sexual touching. If they met through cadets then staff cadet needs to go and to be reported. If staff cadet is on your unit you need to think about child safety for your underage cadets as now you know he did illegal things with young girls he’s a risk. Personally he wouldn’t be allowed back on the Squadron for me, even if the relationship ended.
The 18 yr old is likely committing a criminal offence.
We have absolute no other option than to report the matter the the police & Wing Hq, then his service should be terminated with immediate effect.
He’s broken the law of the land not just the rules of the club.
Thanks everyone for your replies. I’d done a bit of extra research overnight and come to pretty much the same conclusion… letter of the law is that any sexual contact (includes kissing and hugging) by ANYONE over 13 to someone between 13 and 16 is actually illegal. So basically a large majority of today’s teens are breaking the law. Even those who aren’t frowned on by club rules… will pass the necessary onto those who need to know.
The police are very unlikely to take any action unless there are other concerns according to the cps website, but rules is rules.
Thanks guys and gals
is there a law being broken??
yes if a sexual relationship occurs but if they are spending time together, “hanging out with friends” I am unsure what law is being broken or what makes it illegal to do so.
i am not saying it is “right” that they are dating, but i know nothing against the law to indicate people cannot spend time together…
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I refer to the comment above yours, any sexual contact between 13 & 16 is against the letter of the law, we have a duty to report this when there is an adult involved (as there is here), granted the CivPol probably won’t take it further but we cannot not act.
I would urge caution unless you know for sure any law has definitely been broken.
The age gap itself isn’t weird - 4 years between partners is fine. It’s the age of the 14 year old that’s the issue as they obviously aren’t in a position to make sound judgements.
I would ring 101 and report run it by them. If they feel they need to act they will. If they act they should report it to your local children’s social care team but depending on your area a call to them too wouldn’t go amiss (although likelihood of their involvement is low).
However if they do act you must inform the LADO (local area designated officer) whose job it is to look at all cases involving staff and children.
I also wouldn’t want that 18 year old on my squadron as their judgement clearly isn’t great.
understood - but is this occurring on unit? - no they are in different wings
so difficult to indicate what is occurring and raises the question to @Mel how did you find out about this?
was this hearsay in the Squadron corridors? something seen on Social media? proud boasting by the individuals?
Please don’t feel that i agree with the situation but i question at which point we should get involved with aspects which take part outside of unit with no impact on unit.
by all means talk to both individuals, and remind the adult of their responsibility, perhaps mention to the child’s parents but to report based on hearsay i feel would be sticking ones nose in - as pEp suggests highlight to others rather than formally report that something is going on
Potentialy speak with Wg/Region/HQAC before going to the police. If nothing else they’ll need a heads up from a PR perspective
From experience, I will tell them after I’ve done something so they don’t cock it up or try and brush it under the carpet.
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Both participants are aware that the proverbial may shortly hit the fan and have been warned about conduct being absolutely beyond reproach. My daughter is good friends with the girl which is how I came into knowledge of the situation.
When the age gap means that one is legal and one isn’t, with the context it is rather weird. As long as the younger person is 17 and the partner 21 then I don’t see an issue with that age gap, but 14 and 18? Complete no no.
As you grow older larger age gaps become socially acceptable, but when you’re young it’s best to keep it with your own ages. Bearing in mind that the two would also speak in their own time on a regular basis, which is all the more reason for concern as the things an 18 year old has on their mind isn’t always the best for a 14 year old to deal with.
I think the best thing would be a conversation with the 18 year old, discussing the issues with the situation and explaining how it just isn’t right. No-one would want their 14 year old daughter dating an 18 year old it’s just not right.
Devils Advocate Mode on.
The post said just turned 18 Ttat would put him in year 12 going into 13 which probably means that the relationship started when he was 17 (probably). She is 14 1/2 which will put her in year 9 going into year 10. That will make the difference 3 school years.
Girls mature earlier than boys and most teen age relationships the boy is normally older than the girl. This case the difference is a lot but is it excessive?
Is this a loving ongoing relationship that started ages ago and they are both growing up? Now the boy has past 18 it gets much more difficult for the corps
The law allows for such relationships to exist subject certain caveats and to other laws not being broken eg consent.
The big one is the girls parents aware and are they happy for the relationship to continue?
If they are and the boy is under 23 the police will not normally get involved unless the parents make a formal complaint.
This is a difficult one for the corps but the normal things that they would put in place are already there.
Devils Advocate Mode off
As a sqn cdr this would go straight up the chain to the wings child protection officer. The age difference looks bad and this is the crux of the issue. This is a difficult case for the RAFAC to handle and there is a huge grey area in what the law says, what happens in real life and what the police would be interested in.
The rules of the corps are very ridged in this matter. One or both would have to leave but would this stop the relationship. Will the child protection issue have been solved? No, will the corps be happy? Yes
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