I’m thinking about leaving cadets but need some advice before I make a decision
Ive been thinking about leaving cadets for months now, im so burnt out and done with everything. I’ve finished school now and I’ll be going to college to do my qualifications, and these are heavily demanding and in not sure I can manage my time ontop of cadets. I’m not as excited as I used to be about cadets- I genuinely used to love it but now I don’t want to do any events because I’m exhausted and frankly couldn’t care less about cadets anymore but that’s a shame. I used to really look forward to each parade and count down the days I could go again but now I just dread going so much. I feel like I’m not encouraged by staff or ncos (im an nco myself btw) and I’ve been in the corps for 4 years now, and everything my team dies wrong even if it’s just one person, we all get the blame for it and it makes me feel like I’m in a hopeless cycle of trying to prove myself- but because our team is held to such high standards, we’re seen as a team and less as individuals in my opinion (I know that were a team but it all seems really excessive). I used to be driven by helping cadets get better at things and thrive, and I love to teach but it seems lots of the cadets don’t care/ I don’t have the energy to keep up with all the new RTF that come in even if the previous lot are not ready to move on. This just creates an endless cycle of exhaustion for me.
I worked so hard to improve myself as an NCO but I feel like I’m constantly dragged down by others, partly because staff are so tough on us and I can’t even tell if it’s just me being dramatic and fed up with cadets or if it’s a real issue.
Other ncos have also expressed dissatisfaction with the squadron in the past 6 months. Every night is like a chore i have to keep up with. Doing my uniform is too much effort. Drill nights are too much effort. Getting ready is too much effort. I don’t go home happy or fulfilled anymore, I go home thinking about leaving.
The reason I’m still here though, is because I’ve built a name for myself and I have this need to really form good bonds with my cadets and I have done- the ones that try their hardest and say hi to me and have jokes with me are the only reason I’m still in the force. My fellow ncos are also another reason I’ve stayed this long.
What should I do? Does anyone know what I’m going through? What’s your advice?
It sounds like you might benefit from transferring to a new squadron. A change of scenery can do wonders.
Obviously you might not have an alternative Sqn nearby and so the best option might just be to leave. Continuing something that you’re not enjoying isn’t great for mental health, and it is ok to stop.
You could alternatively submit an extended period of leave as you start college, ideally with an email to your OC or Adj to explain, which would give you the time to focus on college and decide if you want to return to cadets at the end of that period.
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I’ve heard about some people doing this and I’ve considered it but I feel like id be betraying my team and my cadets if thT makes sense, also the cadets on my sqn are the only reason in staying, I think that transferring means od have to build a whole new reputation elsewhere and work hard even to just do that.
Would it be possible to try it out eg go once a week while still attending my current sqn and see if it would actually benefit me?
If you are a cadet - yes time to leave & to experience new things but please come back as adult staff. Look at other cadet forces & work out what you want to do in life.
If you are adult staff - this is one of the natural peaks & troughs that you go through as adult staff. A change of Sqn or a recharge but try and talk to your fellow volunteers, take a LOA (but not too long) & focus on the bits you like to try & recharge.
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I can understand that feeling, but remember that you’ve got to look after yourself first and foremost.
Yes you could become supernumerary on another squadron, maybe doing a night at each.
But as @Chief_Tech says, this might be a natural time to leave and then maybe consider rejoining after college or uni etc.
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Look after yourself first. If you keep plugging away at something that doesn’t bring you joy, you might never return to it.
If you go somewhere else for a change, you’re not betraying your existing unit, though I understand why you might feel that way.
For various reasons, I’ve both gained and lost cadets from and to neighbouring units. All the staff of the units involved have ever wanted is what is best for the cadets.
Those cadets gained and lost have, to a cadet, absolutely thrived.
We had our wing competitions day today and one of the things I enjoyed the most was seeing cadets that used to be on my unit once again, and observing how they’ve continued to thrive, develop, and mature because they moved to another unit at a time that was right for them to do so.
Don’t carry the world on your shoulders. The perceived expectations of others can take a back seat for what you hope might reignite your passion.
You’re clearly conflicted, so give it a go.
And good luck!
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An option may be to go supernumerary. Keep the link to your current unit, but attend another.
I have two cadets on the unit I attend, that are based at that unit, but due to uni/work/etc, attend another unit during the week.
They also get to meet new friends, but keep the same experiences. They also benefit from bringing new ideas back to the unit.
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