Relationships between cadets

I’m asking this due to the worry of two other cadets on the same squadron as me. They have been together for coming up to 3 years. The male is turning 18 within the next few months and a couple of months later the female will be turning 18. They don’t show their relationship in cadets however the majority of cadets and staff are aware of it just due to them arriving/leaving at squadron and wing events together most of the time. My concern is a staff cadet on our squadron has told them that because the male is turning 18 soon when he does, they will need to break up. I think this is stupid as they were together before his 18th and they don’t make it obvious that they are together and I don’t feel it is right they should be forced to break up over this. Please, can anyone confirm that they do need to break up or can they stay together?

it is a long term loving relationship. They keep it off sqn. They will not be forced to break up (unless their CO is a total throbber). One may be asked to move to another sqn to keep it professional. There is even a defence under law as it is a relationship of equals.

The corps does get its self tied up in knots over this where schools and colleges don’t.


ACP 4:
A sexual relationship between a Staff Cadet and a cadet of 16 or 17 years of age is a contravention of ACP1 and of the guidelines contained in this publication (Chapter 2, paragraphs 10-12) when a Staff Cadet is considered to be in a position of trust over the younger cadet and is therefore forbidden.

For the rest of us, we normally follow what @the_silverback said.

Staff cadet needs to get a life, it’s between the individuals and the OC. Sounds like a pot stiring situation.


Our CO is more than fine with it, they are literally known as the squadrons ‘power couple’. The only person with an issue is this staff cadet. I personally feel they keep it professional, people from around the wing know they are a couple mainly due to social media, not because they ‘show it’ in any way

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Does that still count even if the relationship was started beforehand? The relationship began when they were both 14, they are currently saving up to move in together. I am just worried for their sake that they will be forcefully made to break up after all this time

Except you can’t take advantage of a position of trust if you don’t hold that position at the outset of the relationship.

It’s an existing and long-term relationship, legal, and the perceived contravention of the written rule is temporary (a few months). The spirit of that rule, however, is to prevent breach of trust/power which doesn’t apply in this case.


No one can make them break up. Its a perfectly legal relationship in the eyes of the law, @Giminion has put it much better than i ever could.

I have asked people to leave before and i have moved people for this exact ruling. But it all comes down to circumstances and in this case, i would be telling this staff cadet to mind his own business.


“yes sir, we’ve broken up to appease your vanilla sensitivities. We arrive at different times, we leave in different directions, we don’t do anything inappropriate on duty… 100% bona fide broken up.”


To follow on, balancing it up, the gain is not worth any such steps being taken in the described circumstances. There is no benefit to these actions for the few months there will be an age difference.

Now, existing relationship where one moves over to staff, or if there’s a larger age gap… Then you are more likely to consider moving or removing.

@uke, your friends should be fine. If OC has already cleared it then it’s on them to defend it. This other staff cadet is just being an overzealous know it all who’s read a book but not lived.


I do really believe he is the only one with the issue. The cadets in question are well liked around the wing, let alone squadron. I do think that this staff cadet has some jealousy in some form and thats the reason behind the comments. The OC is aware of their barely there age gap and is more than fine with it, as in the due course of the time where he will be 18 and she will be 17, there really is no point in a break up for such s short length of time because of an organisation they both attend to enjoy themselves. The staff cadet, I will admit, goes completely by the book and I don’t think he is taking into consideration the feelings of both cadets.

Just one point - even if the relationship started after said cadet became a staff cadet, it is not legally an abuse of trust because the staff cadet role is not one of those considered to be a position of trust by the act.


Fine to a point, but they also don’t hold authority in this matter.

@talon true, but it’s the line that would be trotted out by the powers within our own little empire.

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Yes it is okay in some circumstances, but most squadrons will bend the rules slightly just so its more fit for purpose, catering towards their needs

I’d be prepared to tell anyone where to go, if I had this situation and insisted I did something like tell them to break up or similar that has if nothing
As said it’s fine in schools and colleges, I think that HQAC needs to get on with the reality of the world rather than looking at a rule book and playing by it.
I wonder what one of our great and good do if something like this affected one of their children.


Really simple. Stays off Sqn, if it works it’s way into Sqn then either one of them will need to leave or transfer

That staff cadet needs to wind his neck in.Stirrer of the first magnitude.

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Point to note - nor are actual staff…

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The act is quite narrow in what it considers to be a position of power. The act only considers a position of power as somebody who directly works over the subject. Being a newly qualified teachers in a school with a 6th form and for wand of a better word getting off with a random 6th former in a night club form another school is not against the law. While a baby plt off getting off with a cwo from another region in a night club who have never met is against the rules of the RAFAC.

Anyway, this thread has run its course. We know the answer so I’ve locked it.