Promotion to Corporal by letter!?!?

Sorry for such a big read but here I go!
Our squadron is somewhat low on NCOs and our OC has asked certain, specific people who are both eligible and she thinks are ‘NCO Material’ to write a letter to her detailing why they should be promoted and what they would do to improve the squadron if they were promoted. I wasn’t aware that this was a regular system for promotions but that’s what she’s asked for. I was one of those people so I was wondering if I could have any feedback on my application. Thanks!

(I’ve blocked out names and things with x’s)

Flt Lt xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
OC xxx (xxxxxxxxxxxx) Squadron ATC

I, Cadet xxxxxxxxxx believe that I have, since the start of my membership in the ATC experienced many brilliant things such as flying, shooting, and many more; and now I think I am in a position where I have both the experience and the leadership skills to give back by becoming a JNCO and helping to make the Air Training Corps just as good for other cadets as it has been for me. I think that I have the basis of the skillset required to make a good JNCO and have proven this throughout past leadership experiences I have had both within and outside of the ATC. For example, at my school I currently teach a group of younger students both French and Spanish twice weekly, by myself, this includes planning of activities, marking of work and the delivery of 40 minute lessons as well as being available for help when students struggle or to manage the situation if behaviour starts to deteriorate . These abilities to organise activities, lead a group of people successfully and step in when things don’t go as planned are, I believe, completely transferrable to cadets, and would help particularly within the role of a JNCO. I have also demonstrated that I can be a productive and capable leader on the squadron, examples being my volunteering to show other cadets how to shape their berets and implementing the instructions of JNCOs by not only carrying them out myself but making sure that other, less experienced cadets are carrying the instructions to the best of their ability and offering advice and guidance where necessary, in many fields from uniform and drill to classification help . Additionally, I believe that even as a cadet it is possible to lead by example, as such I always make sure my uniform and drill are of a high standard and that my behaviour is excellent; not only in order to set an example to other cadets, but as a matter of pride, pride in both the uniform I wear and the squadron that I am part of. Although there are some cadets who may have been a cadet longer than I have I believe that I all of the factors I have mentioned as well the experience I have contribute to giving me to leadership skills required to be a good JNCO. I also believe that the standard to which I look after uniform is a demonstration of the commitment I have to Cadets, a commitment I take very seriously, as shown by my fast progression to Leading via voluntary self-studying – I hope to reach Senior in the next few months, as well as my regular attendance to both normal parade nights and off-squadron weekend events such as Rosie’s walk, Wing athletics and Poppy selling in xxxxx. Additionally I recently took part in remembrance parade as part of the band, something I would like to pursue forward by gaining a place on the wing band in future.
Were I to become an NCO I feel that taking pride in our squadron is something that should be fostered among the cadets, taking pride in XXX squadron is something which I hope would encourage cadets to attend more wing, charity and fundraising events which would in turn make their experience better; my motto for the ATC is that you get out what you put in, and that it is important to give back to the squadron and the corps, rather than to just attend the events that you enjoy. Further ways in which I would seek to improve the Squadron further is to raise awareness in the local community, so that we might gain more enrolled cadets as our numbers have been seriously lacking of late; we could do this by organising events locally such as School visits by Officers and Band performances in xxxxxx and surrounding areas advertising our latest intakes. An increase in cadets could lead the way for further improvements such as the reintroduction of having 2 flights for inter-flight competitions as well as improved overall attendance at Wing events, and hopefully some more trophies for the Squadron. One change which I believe would be very popular among cadets, NCOs and adult staff a like is Greens Nights, I would like to implement to reintroduction of greens nights on the field so everyone can experience some proper fieldcraft, one way we could implement this quickly is by collaborating with the Army Cadet Force, they could offer the best instruction as well as some opportunities for joint exercises. Finally I would seek to improve the overall quality of uniform in some of the newer cadets, I would do this, not by issuing harsher punishments or sanctions initially, but by having a Bi or Tri-monthly uniform night where cadets can bring along an Ironing board, shoe polish and their uniform and the NCOs, as well as more senior cadets can offer help and guidance as well as the best methods for keeping uniform to a high standard.
I hope that I have shown that I have a serious commitment to the ATC by attending regularly attending all squadron events and working tirelessly on my uniform, as well as good leadership capabilities shown by my experiences leading others at school and leading both by example and by helping other cadets and implementing NCOs instructions on the squadron, and also that as a Leading – almost Senior cadet, I have the experience to make a successful JNCO within both xxx squadron and the Air Training Corps. Finally, I also hope I have shown that as part of my commitment I have thought hard about what could be done to improve our squadron and the ATC experience of all our cadets as well as how both could be done.

Cdt xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

You left your Sqn number in, so I’ve removed it.

Otherwise it’s a nice letter. How old are you if you don’t mind me asking?

Hi I’ve literally just turned 15, my birthday was last month :slight_smile:

Why do you ask?

1 Like

Just because. I was trying to work out how old I thought you were based on the letter and its content, and I thought you were older than that.

Thanks I guess I’ll take that as a Compliment! Are you sure there’s nothing I should change/add/remove?

I don’t know what your OC is looking for, but I think it’s a good letter and shows your passion for your Sqn.

assuming how its written here is the same as the letter/email you’re sending your OC, i’d use more paragraphs (great big blocks of text are very difficult to read, and very easy to switch off from…), and possibly swap some of the text for bullet points - the list of stuff you do on the Sqn thats outside of your rank, the stuff you do at school, the Sqn stuff you turn up to that you aren’t that interested in but go anyway…

if you want someone to read, and be interested in something you’ve written you have to make it easy for them: it has to be easy to read, and it has to make a logical, coherant argument. who you are, your commitment and experience, the NCO stuff you do both on the Sqn and at School, and your ideas about the future. what you’ve written broadly fits within that pattern, but i’d spend 20 mins making it easier to read, and making sure everything is in the right order.

its very well written letter, i too am surprised - and impressed - that you’re only 15.

Thanks for the advice, I’ve separated it out in to paragraphs, do you think it would give a good impression to give it to my OC handwritten? Or is typed fine?

Good letter - yes, bullet points make it easier for the recipient to quickly read & digest.

Unless your hand writing is perfect copperplate (look that one up!), I would suggest this type of letter should always be typed. Occasionally, there may be a requirement to hand-write a formal letter; it can show a lot to the reader!

Incidentally I based my handwriting on copperplate! But you’re right it’s probably best to leave it typed. I’m glad the letter itself is good - I spent hours and hours on it !

My thoughts are that as you have already worked out the layout and content in electronic format, submitting a typed up version should be fine, but I’d suggest that the salutation and signing is by hand. This will allow you to correct any mistakes before you commit to paper, and mean that your OC is not trying to decipher hieroglyphics (untidy handwriting).

As the others have said, it’s basically a good letter (a few modifications as listed above).

Remember, to some extent the purpose of such an exercise is not so much to directly convince the boss with your eloquent description of your abilities, but rather to show that you can actually be bothered to put a bit of work and thought in to your application, rather than expecting it to be handed to you on a plate - and your letter more than demonstrates that.

Other than the comments about being extremely difficult to read, I feel you need to understand the rank and to some extent your age. There is a lot of what “I” and not much evidence of understanding you are part of a team/group, yes you have done things in a team context and yes you have state what you have done, but it does seem all about you and not that intrinsic quality that you are a cog in the machine not the machine. If you attain the position of senior cadet NCO on the squadron, then to an extent you can call the shots, but not as a JNCO, IMO. Unless you are one the more charismatic types who get people following them around like sheep, you might find your attitude as written alienates people towards you, rather than draw them closer.

If I were using such a system I would ask have you raised the concerns about things like “greens” and what seems to be an invisibility of the squadron in the local community?

I do hope the bit about the teaching isn’t a The Apprentice style empty comment, but it does I feel sit with the lack of appreciation of your position in the grand scheme. My eldest daugher when in the 4th/5th year helped 1st year pupils who struggled with reading in a lunchtime club, but in no way did she feel she was running it, which is how what you say comes across, there was a teacher and others there as well.

While you have to put forward why you think you’re the next best thing in an application, a little humility goes an awful long way and is one of the qualities I look for in people I promote.

Okay thanks for the advice, I’ll try and implement that when I edit it. Your point about working as a team was particularly poignant. Although in my defense my French and Spanish classes are run by just myself without teachers present…I wan’t lying!

Did u get cpl after that ?

LB has either left of is a CWO.

No. Commissioned and running a squadron.

At 19?

They seem to be getting younger all the time