Hey,
I am a recently promoted Corporal and i would like to know how i can gain the respect of the cadets and staff, but mainly cadets. The cadets don’t respect me and i have to shout several times for them to be quiet etc. Also, even when on parade after being told to stop moving/ talking they continue and again i have to ask several times. How can i gain their respect and get them to listen to me etc?
Not a simple question to answer but I am happy to give a few points from experience.
Firstly, respect is not straight forward. There is respect for a persons rank and secondly respect for a person. I had a chat with an Able Rate once where he asked me how one of my colleges passed to be come an officer. I answered appropriately but his response was enlightening ‘Well she has my respect as an officer, as I have to, I doubt she will ever be respected as a person’. I asked, what the difference was ‘We may have to follow orders, but if we don’t respect them we won’t ever do it quite right and even can find ways out of it.’ Keep this in mind when working with your cadets.
Secondly, you ask how you gain respect, you can’t make it happen. It will happen with time as you prove you deserve it. You don’t need to do a profound act to do this you simply need to understand your cadets, respect them and be consistent. If you maintain these points they will come to respect you in time. This does not mean they will like you though, that depends on the way you handle thing but remember command is lonely and leadership sometimes means p***ing people off.
Above all, enjoy yourself! Don’t get worked up or up tight, this can easily become toxic. I have been there and done that more than once.
Remember that respect is almost always earned rather than just given.
However being fair, reasonable and willing to listen are good starting points.
If you don’t mind me asking how long have you been promoted?
A few days. Got promoted on Wednesday.
Firstly congratulations, well done.
Got to say I agree with flago and JBW.
There is no easy way to do this. I used to instruct on JNCO Cadre’s in the Army and the underlying concern for all newly promoted personnel (NPP) was how they would instil discipline amongst their former friends and colleagues.
The truth is, there is no way to learn this from a book, course or otherwise. It comes with experience.
Like both my fellow contributors, I believe that respect is earned, it is not a given. To expect otherwise would be an error.
Watch and observe your Cadet SNCO’s and your Staff SNCO’s too. Learn from them. Above all, this is going to be down to you and you must stand tall and proud. Work hard on your uniform and appearance and drill. Let the silent contributions you make, deafening.
Best of luck and keep in touch with how it goes. Remember, what you learn now you can pass on in months to come to newer JNCO’s and don’t ever forget the position you are in now.
What i use to do is have a little chat with them on parade and then when staff or SNCO’s came i would then shut them up. I still use it today but not as often as i would like to.
Just be aware that the transformation from cadet to corporal ins’t instantaneous. Remember that there may well be other cadets who are a tad bitter because you got promoted over them, also as a new NCO you can almost certainly look forward to being “tested” as an NCO by cadets to see what you’re like as an NCO/what they can get away with. Cadet to corporal is probably the biggest jump you’ll make within the corps so be prepared for a bit of a jump, that said provided you don’t make any huge mistakes and prove yourself reasonably competent you will gain most cadets’ respect.
As for the staff, less my area of expertise but from personal experience it’s much the same, show that you’re switched on knowledgeable and be both organised and a good organizer.
As for getting respect from staff… my top tips:-
DONT SUCK UP! Biggest bug bear for me is over zealous sucking up. It doesn’t endear you to staff its an irritation.
Do whatever you did as a cadet to get promoted… just do it better.
Try to think ahead - its better for you to have done what the staff have asked you to do, BEFORE they ask (getting cadets sorted for a parade, clearing up etc).
Take part in as much as possible - and encourage others to do so.
However eager you may be, focus on being a good Cpl before you try to be a Sgt - which means be a team player with ALL the other Cpls on your squadron, not the one continuously pushing for Sgt.
Just a few tips, hopefully common sense, but worth remembering.
^^^THAT
best piece of advice i have read on this topic.
you were promoted for a reason, the Staff noticed something which they felt deserved recognition and thus have promoted you.
i’d suggest perhaps those not offering the respect you feel you deserve haven’t realized you deserve it, so simply show them you are worthy of the rank by doing what you have always done just better, you are now a role model, so don’t do what you don’t want the Cadets to do.
also don’t let the promotion go to your head. as mentioned above, the Cadet>Cpl jump is the biggest and hardest move to make. leadership by volume (ie shouting) doesn’t work and will only come across as you being "power mad"
remind Cadets of the standard that is expected (which you yourself are adhering to) before deploying your “authority” by shouting.
"Cdt Blogg, is it acceptable to be fidgeting on Parade?
“no Cpl”
“well might i suggest you stop…unless you require further training on basic static drill”
for example (or ask them why they are moving/talking/not matching expectation - typically they will have no worthy answer to give…)
Make sure you’re beyond reproach. Be firm but fair, make sure your uniform is immaculate. Ask advice when you need it and listen to guidance given by others.
Don’t settle for second best, and make sure you read the 100 top tips for NCOs which I’ll link to later.
Can someone add this to the library. Thanks Oz!
Damn this software not allowing me to upload anything!
Here’s a link:
And obviously ignore the fact it mentions ACP19. Just replace that with AP818
There’s loads of good advice on this thread, but I think the one thing the OP really needs to hear is: relax. You said you were promoted on Wednesday, so, in reality, you’ve only been a Cadet Corporal for a few hours. You won’t have spent the equivalent of a full day in uniform, being an NCO yet. So follow the above, but give it time, too.
Firstly, simple having a conversation and sharing a joke with cadets will go a long way, it means they will “Like” you and you will learn loads about them and their opinions of the squadron. Something as simple as saying “Evening [Insert Name]” when a cadet walks past you in the corridor just after arriving to cadets will gain you respect. In turn, when you tell them to do something, they will do it.
However, you have to strike the right balance with this, To get this to work out you must ensure that the NCO’s don’t become to friendly with the cadets because then they will simple not respect you as much as they should purely because they consider the NCO as “one of them” for example, Most of the time I joke about things and share conversations with cadets, but I wouldn’t spend the whole break time talking to them because I don’t want to interfere with their social circle and become “one of them”, break time is for the cadets to socialise with each other (on my squadron).
Secondly, setting a good example is important:
Have good uniform
Turn up on time
Perform your role .etc.
This is because as cliched as it sounds, most cadets will look up to you and especially the young cadets on the squadron will try and do exactly what you do in the hope it will make them a good cadet.
Thirdly… Be Proactive! Staff will respect you for being proactive because they appreciate that you are dedicated to the squadron and you do more than what is required of you. For example, come up with a new activity the squadron could do or a new timetable that organises cleaning at the end of the night… Actually, Cadet SNCOs appreciate it too!
Lastly, Don’t be an idiot, A couple of years ago, I was that NCO that storms around the squadron thinking he is god… Cadets will hate you, Staff won’t like that style and your fellow NCO’s will hate you.
Hope this helps 
Always phrase things in positive language.
For example - Right - its time for some amazing drill. Top Flight Aircraft Recognition, Marvelous mapreading or whatever comes to mind. Things phrased in positive language lift the subject and put the cadets in the right frame of mind.
If the cadets have done something well - tell them.
If their uniform standard is abysmal don’t pick on the whole thing - it will break their morale.
Find one thing that is reasonable, compliment them on it and then say, “if you worked on your shoes you got get a great score next time”. Then next time praise that improvement and go on to the next improvement.
If the cadets won’t stop talking on parade and you ask the ringleader - what are they discussing and they give a cheeky answer tell them that answer is not acceptable and they should carefully consider shutting up right now!
You could try the opposite and tell them they must all talk and fidget as much as possibile continously for the next two minutes.
After that they should be glad to keep still and shut up. Might work?
My two paces worth…
Don’t keep cadets stood to attention for any longer than you have too.
Sometimes if its a formal parade with inspections etc you have to, but if you are doing drill keep the people moving.
Good luck with your new promotion!
[quote=“mike-foxtrot-lima” post=18242]Don’t keep cadets stood to attention for any longer than you have too.[/quote]Or on parade at all for longer than is needed.
Always grips me somewhat to have staff standing around in the office chatting, complaining that the cadets who are standing outside doing nothing useful are also talking.
The big way to gain respect from the cadets is often to sacrifice your own progression.
It is all to often over looked by many people what the ATC is all about, the ATC is all about the cadets, and i mean the 13-15 year olds who turn up because they enjoy it and they want to progress at something and gain life skills. The way to gain their respect is by making a conscious effort that everything you do is based towards making that cadet want to come back on the next parade night, this can often put you in bad situation yourself with staff as you may not be see what they see as the best thing however i can guarantee if you spend your parade nights with the cadets, working alongside them, helping them and more of being an older sibling to them that they will respect you for the way you treat them and the way you get things done for them. If they ask you to do something or arrange it, do it! if the cadets want it along as it is not dangerous then do it! they want it they will enjoy it and thats what its all about, once you then have the repeat of the cadets the staff will then start asking you to do stuff and get jobs done for them, because they know the cadets will work for you or with you, this will then win you the respect of staff!!
this all comes from 7 years experience in the corp where i now have a situation where the cadets respect me and look up to me because i treat them correctly, however it has in ways prevented me from achieving what i wanted to achieve as a cadet as i age out soon and can not see me achieving my goal of CWO. However i would rather be respected and remembered for begin the person not being an ■■■■ and doing the right thing.
its all about priorities and remembering cadets is about the cadets … hence the name
[quote=“MattB” post=18256][quote=“mike-foxtrot-lima” post=18242]Don’t keep cadets stood to attention for any longer than you have too.[/quote]Or on parade at all for longer than is needed.
Always grips me somewhat to have staff standing around in the office chatting, complaining that the cadets who are standing outside doing nothing useful are also talking.[/quote]An ACF det I took over had some habits like this. Keeping cadets waiting. Keeping cadets stood out on parade outside despite having an empty drill hall in all weathers. Staff and cadet NCOs bimbling/lolling about and not fell in with the rest of the detachment. And bizarrely (is it an Army/Regt thing?) addressing the final parade whilst it is stood to attention?
All things I got rid of when I took over. Cadets parade indoors. I don’t keep them waiting. They stand at ease when I talk to/brief them etc;. the staff fall in a supernumary rank. I finish with any questions or sometimes a quote or piece of military history of ‘on this day’ type stuff. Recently one of my parades finished at 2130hrs on the 5th June 1944. I reminded cadets that this day 70 years ago approximately 30,000 paratroops or gliderborne infantry left UK airfields destined for targets in the Normandy area. Less than 13% actually landed in the correct drop or landing zones. Over 950 individual acts of sabotage were carried out in the region by French resistance groups virtually paralyzing all rail and telephone lines in the region. I asked them to imagine how European history would have been different if the invasion had been a failure? Would the Third Reich still be across the channel? Or would the Soviet steamroller have eventually crushed them and the iron curtain would have begun at Calais. A lively debate ensued and I think I generated much interest in WW2 history and ‘what if’ scenarios around it.
When I look at the title of this thread and similar that occur on a regular basis, I wonder when did it become an issue? Is it oonfused with being liked? There is an old saying “you can’t please all of the people all of the time”. A good maxim to live by along with be true to yourself. Every politician in history and into the future would not pursue a job in politics if they didn’t follow these.
I don’t ever remember this being something we spoke about to fellow NCOs on or off our squadron or ever really saw it as a problem. But in modern times it seems to be.
There are people I respect and people I like, but they don’t necessarily coincide. I’ve never been overly fussed if people like or respect me, I’m happy with who I am, which is the primary factor, their opinions are not important.
As an NCO IMO you are there to do a job, whether or not you are respected/liked is irrelevant. There are always people who are looked up to which could be regarded as liking/respected but it doesn’t necessarily mean they good or are better at something.
So to this end as an NCO focus and concentrate on doing the best job you can and not being friends, if that’s not good enough for people, tough. If you follow this line you will do well, because people will see it. I’ve seen enough NCOs who try to be people’s mates and fail as an NCO.