NCO development

hi there folks -
CDT Burton here . Just wondering if you could review my NCO application letter . we are currently accepting applications. I have been a cadet since the 7th september 2015 , and feel it is a perfect time to apply .I have replaced all squadron names with ---- thank in advance :

Ma’am/ Sir
I believe that during my 2 years in the air training corps i have had many incredible experiences such as drill , field craft and shooting and Flying and therefore believe I am in a position where I have enough experience and level of leadership skills to return what i have learnt on the squadron by becoming a JNCO and making — just as good and better for others as it has been for me. I think that I have the skills required to make a good JNCO - further I have proven this through the leadership experiences I have had both within and outside of cadets , such as my coaching of cricket at — cricket club , showing my leadership ability and my capability to take control of a group of students. I have won the school leadership award twice in a row , and represented my school as the captain of the cricket team. i believe this is transferred and shown within my presence at cadets when I naturally take charge of a group of cadets when no leader is present , and supporting the NCO team when possible . This shows that I can be a productive and respected leader on the squadron, examples being my volunteering to demonstrate shooting and drill techniques , and my assisting on the air rifle range , tutoring cadets on improving their techniques through to the basics of how to maintain uniform .I have on many occasions taken charge by implementing the instructions of JNCOs by not only carrying them out myself and showing my great belief in leading by example but also guiding other, less experienced cadets to carry out the instructions to the best of their physical ability and offering support when i believe it is necessary.
In order to reinforce the above , I believe that within the cadet forces it is best to lead by example, as such I always make sure my discipline and drill are of a high standard and that i do everything to the best of my ability; not just to set an example to other cadets but also do show my great pride in both the uniform I wear and the squadron that i belong to ands the great respect i have to my seniors .
Although there are many cadets who have a longer attendance than mine , i believe that what I have spoken about as well as the experience I have all contribute to giving me fulfilling leadership skills in order to be a good JNCO. I also believe my high attendance to cadets , even on the not so bright evenings and even days. For example i have attended clean up afternoons on squadron where i have been one of only two cadets shows my great commitment to cadets, a commitment I take most seriously, as shown by my fast progression to Leading via self study – (I also hope to reach Senior in the next few days) And my attendance to the 2017 Arnhem marches , which i paraded the squadron banner for . I intend to further this and plan to become part of the wing rifle drill team , or banner bearer for the squadron .

if I was to become an NCO I feel that taking pride in our squadron is something that would be of paramount importance within the squadron , the great pride i bear of — squadron is something which I think i could bring to the squadron by encouraging cadets to attend more wing, charity and fundraising events which would in turn make their experience better and that it is important to give back to the squadron and the corps, in contrast to just attending the events that you enjoy. Other further ways in which I intend to improve the Squadron further is to raise awareness in the general region of rugby , so that we might gain more support from the local community and likely get funds for activities for cadets and more resources .While i must say this has been fantastic of late - shown in our attendance to lutterworth lights and the funds granted to us by local companies such as keller , I feel we could go further by making these events a regular thing rather than we are in desperate need of something . we could do this by organising events locally within civcomm , and fundraising events within rugby and the surrounding areas advertising what we do and that we cannot do it without civilian help . I feel this could greatly benefit the squadron by the community giving back to use. for example man flying schools would be willing to give cadet groups flying opportunities for doing events such as washing aircraft and other companies would likely donate to us for our assistance of what we can do for them these civilian activities would hopefully gain some more rare trophies for the Squadron such as the unseen on the squadron civilian relations trophy. one change would like to implement to reintroduction of inter cadet force relations . it is well known that the cadet forces are indeed incredibly competitive , however i feel that it would be highly beneficial to collaborate with the Army Cadet Force, as they could offer good instruction and knowledge of their specialities as well as some opportunities for joint exercises with them , for example they have better access to resources such as DP rifles and camps . Finally I would seek to improve the overall quality of uniform in some of the newer cadets, I would do this, not by issuing harsher punishments or sanctions as I feel that is not the best way to introduce cadets to the discipline requirements as it means there only memory of their first few weeks of cadets is being shouted at.
I hope that i have shown to you that I fulfil the requirements for my development into a NCO and further , and that as a Leading near senior cadet, I have the experience and knowledge within — squadron and the entire Air Training Corps. And finally that I have shown that as part of my commitment i have proven that thought long and hard about what I feel I could bring to the squadron in order to improve — ,through my experience as a cadet , and the overall experience of all our cadets as well as how both could be done in the future
CDT Harvey Burton

Overall I think the content is good and you have experience I’d be happy to see in a JNCO.

However, I don’t personally like the format. It is too wordy. My own preference would be for you to bullet point achievements with a brief explanation of each using a few key words. There is quite a bit of repetition and unnecessary flourishes. See if you are able to half the word count without losing any of your points. (might not be possible but worth a shot)

I’m going to be hypocritical here (as I’m dyslexic and dreadful at typing on a phone) and say make sure you check your spelling and get there/their correct.

This is just my opinion on what format the letter should take and I’m sure there are others on here that think my preferred format is diabolical.

But best of luck, you seem to have leadership experience, commitment and motivation.

(You may want to change your username if this is your real name, you never know when things on this site can come back to bite you in the arse as colleagues of mine - both staff and cadet - have learned to their detriment)

I will ask this question and prepared to be slated by my peers, but are you a cadet on the squadron you want to be an NCO on as this is written like they don’t know you.

I know the cadets on my squadron and I know the ones I’m looking at to promote and they are discussed at length before making a decision. If a cadet wrote something like this, I don’t quite know how I’d respond, especially if they weren’t in my mind for promotion.
I know there are squadrons that encourage this sort of thing and also do interviews, which is their call.

One criticism is it is it is far too long. As suggested use bullet point your achievements and ideas and shorten them. I’ve seen shorter personal statements on job applications from people with 30 years’ work experience. if you were applying for a job with this, I would suggest the people in the place you were applying to would stop reading it.

I agree with the others - maybe cut it down a bit. Also watch for spelling and grammar mistakes (you seem to say ‘and’ quite a lot so maybe make use of commas etc). Important things to mention are personal qualities (being responsible, reliable etc) and skills (communication , problem solving , Motivational etc). You could perhaps mention a few scenarios where you have used these.

I hope this helps!