@GrandMaster_Flush plays the ‘intelligence gathering card’.
Now you do know as per the rules theres only one use of that per game right? 
My entry:
- Starting 2 weeks too late, ending 2 weeks too early, and pretending that it actually wasn’t too late and didn’t end too early.
- The announcements will be made with 5 days notice, to maximize panic spreading
- The rules will include many "err"s, "um"s, and misremembered cliche
- Leaving your house to fetch a pasty will be permitted, but only if it’s hot from the oven (not kept warm)
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Oh. And fetching Scotch Eggs definitely isn’t permitted.
Unless it counts as fetching essential food.
Which it might do, when it counts as essential food.
Edit to add: Obviously, it’s clear to you when a scotch egg is essential, and when it isn’t.
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Also add in that Boris won’t actually appear until 2045hrs rather than 2000
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And here is your reminder that you all need to book an eye test in the next fortnight!
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Sounds very unnecessary when I have a car and a castle to go to though?
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No one is allowed in or out of their homes bar key workers and Covid wardens (see later) or for animal welfare reasons. Have some sort of hosing down (I’m thinking like the chemical showers on leaving and entering the house for those who have to). Adoption of dogs increase so people can get out so instead of dog walks, which increases the R rate, dog owners are given a doggy treadmill or a designated walking schedule. Drones deliver shopping parcels every so often a case of “you get what you are given”. Each street has a Covid warden (or maybe the military will be deployed for this) who patrols to make sure you are inside, maybe using heat sensors to make sure the correct number of people are in said house. Such wardens are given regulatory powers to fine etc. Schools are shut and the government may start a lockdown school with televised lessons for children so all will follow a standard curriculum.
This will continue until 2025.
Or more likely, all non essential shops shut, pubs, restaurants, take aways shut, gyms etc shut, only go out for exercise, medical reasons or essential shopping, can’t meet any other households inside, can’t meet anyone outside (although less confident that they’ll apply this one, they’ll probably say you can meet some). To be reviewed every 2 weeks.
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So what we have now then 
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Tier 4 Lockdown for whole country until end of month (but ultimately will extend until April, or until all vulnerable vaccinated, what ever comes first)
Schools closed/moved online.
All outdoor spaced closed unless its for exercise (outdoor team sports banned)
No mixing indoors or outdoors
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Not quite - I am not (currently) tier 4 but yes, I think it will be tier 4 although I think it should be stronger and I think the guidelines should be tougher for those who break the rules. My neighbours break it and it does my head in. I did report it and a police car came and sat outside the house for a short while a few days later.
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I think it will be something along these lines that he is announcing:
https://twitter.com/RAF_Luton/status/1346145009532362754?s=20
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“Chieftain” - they surely missed getting an SLR reference in there…
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Are they sure they don’t mean Churchills?
I always forget this exists! Thank you 
Full lockdown starting from midnight Wednesday until 1st March, only the lucky few who have the vaccine will be allowed to play out with friends in the baron streets. Only kids who’s parents are essential to go to school while every other kid learns from home. Regardless of the rules, No cadet activity F2F till 1st May if numbers have reduced enough country wide.
Stock up on your cheese kids!
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see also my argument for always needing an Oxford Comma (or not, depending on context):
isn’t the English language great 
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I’d still consider my parents essential and I’m a little bit older than school age, I wouldn’t be frogmarched back to the playground would I? 