Fake Accusations

community

#1

I have been accused of getting kicked out the core by a staff Sgt at my squadron.
I need your clarity and knowledge of what my steps should be regarding this matter.
I am 16 years old and a Cadet Sgt at my squadron. Tonight, I was accused of being a bully with no proof or indication that I did such a thing. I did not bully anyone; which therefore leads me to my frustration.
This is the full story.
A few weeks ago, a cadet came to me explaining that he felt very upset about how he was being treated at cadets, this was due to cadets making jokes about his height. He compiled a list of the names he was called and with him, another cadet joint him, as they both felt the matter could not occur any longer. After listening to them, I called a flight sergeant into the room just so I would have another cadet flight sergeant aware of the situation. From there, we discussed what measures should have been taken. We agreed that we should seat down with the cadets, however, both myself and another cdt sgt will be in the room with the so accused individual of bullying. One of the individuals has been talked twice before about name calling and how it is inappropriate and not tolerated. With this in mind, I did raise my voice when talking to him, as I did this the Staff sgt walked into the room and stood in the corner glaring at me. The minute this indivual left, he soon reprimanded me that I should have not raised my voice (I did NOT shout at this individual but only raised my voice for emphasis that name calling is not tolerated at our sqn). I took this into consideration and critical criticism. The staff sergeant said and I quote “you are belittling him and even bullying. you make people scared”. I apologized for raising my voice even though I believed that I did not bully this individual but gave him the conversation that he needed to hear - the cdt sgt with me in the room agreed that because he has done this before it wasn’t out of hand at all.
This, therefore, leads us into what happened tonight. I spent the whole night teaching first class to new cadets (30 cadets intake) and only left the room for cantine, but this is simply next door. I knocked on the door and asked the cpl if he was ready as well as 2 other senior cadets that were there. The cpl responded with “yes, we have been ready for 10 minutes” but in a rather rude manner. I stated that I wasn’t aware of this and that for him to be “careful with your tone as its very condescending”, as I left the room, I saw him laughing and making a comment about me, therefore, I pulled into the room aside and nicely said, I also said this very calmy as I learned from past mistakes, I said that “it is not very nice of you to be laughing when I leave the room, that is not the behavior we expect from an NCO”.
As the night went, I got back into teaching and the staff sergeant bursts into the door and says he wants to see me immediately in his office. He said that I bullied an NCO and that I shouted at him. He also added that because of this, “there is a possibility of (you) getting kicked out the core”. So, I am left there almost in tears after hearing this accusation that I bullied someone. After I asked what I was accused of saying, he simply said that he couldn’t tell me. I said that “surely, I should be aware of what I allegedly said” he then brought up the fact that I have shouted at individuals before referencing to the cadet above where I raised my voice at - the cdt sgt said that my behavior of raising my voice was acceptable as he was a repeated offender. It is unheard that I shout. My drill voice is loud, as it should be, and it has been highly graded and reviewed by many wing officers, DIs, etc and I only use a shouty voice for 3 things: Drill, bringing the room to attention (especially when there are 30 new cadets shouting and yelling about everything and anything, and getting the attention of cadets (telling them when canteen is over because there is no other way of getting their attention as they are all deep into their conversations) - I should add that all new cadets regard me highly.
I don’t know what to do anymore, I am considering leaving. I am afraid that the staff will dislike me because of this alleged situation.
help.


#2

May I just add to this. I’m from a near by squadron of which this staff sergeant used to parade at. When he was there he would be pulled into our oc’s office most nights for inappropriate behaviour and language towards cadets. I myself have had to speak to him in private to explain to him that there are certain ways to speak to cadets especially those who are younger. He recently returned to assist at the squadron for for a few nights on which he had my cadets in a line where he shouted at them (these cadets had only been in for a month and we’re 12-13 years old) so I asked to speak in private and I said " Sgt I understand what you’re saying but they have only just started and it’s out of order to be shouting at cadets for doing something when they didn’t know what they should have been doing instead. The segrant also made very inappropriate names for my cadets which sometimes involved swearing in them which as a cadet you don’t come to a squadron (2nd family) to be bullied by a staff member of all people.


#3

What makes you think that all the staff don’t like you? I don’t know you and didn’t see any of this so can’t see if you did anything “over the line” or not. It doesn’t sound like it but I wasn’t there. It sounds to me like the sergeant is and angry little man on a bit of an ego trip. If you have issues with a staff member, speak with a different staff member, preferably one of a higher rank. Have you tried speaking to your OC?

In my experience, “possibility” tends to mean “probably won’t happen”.


#4

He told the staff about what allegedly happened, therefore, they will believe him. I was fully honest. I haven’t talked to my OC about this, I don’t know whether I should. If my OC ends up believing him and the accusation then there is a possibility I could get kicked out.

Well, hopefully, that is the case, but I don’t want to assume that.


#5

Not knowing the full situation or the cadets/nco’s involved there ain’t much I can say other than:

If you genuinely haven’t done anything to warrant this agro then when it’s brought to the OC’s attention, if he’s a decent OC then he will hear both sides before making any decisions. I can’t see all the staff disliking you, and it doesn’t matter who’s story they hear first, they will always need to hear the other side. Have you been brought into the office and told they don’t like you or mentioned the way your going about your cadet business? If you’ve not been spoke to or asked to see the OC I wouldn’t lose sleep over it.


#6

Firstly, have you told your parents? I would its better to keep them in the loop.

Secondly, you need to get your fellow cadet NCO to write a statemement of what they saw whilst its fresh in thier mind. If it was me id be formulating an official complaint against the Adult Sgt and send it to WHQ as it should be dealt without side of Sqn.

Sounds like a he says she says situation and if you have a half decent OC they will recognise this and dismiss the claim. However be aware poo sticks and it will make the Aduly Sgt have a different opinion of you, they shouldnt but probably will.


#7

Don’t assume that - just because they are staff, it doesn’t mean they will be believed over you. I once had an instructor come up to me to have a moan about one of my Corporals, saying that she was disrespectful, mean and shouldn’t be an NCO. The words didn’t tally with my own experiences of said NCO so I went to see what was what and got her side of the story. After weighing up both sides I decided to ignore said instructor as they had obviously taken a dislike to the cadet in question and were on a bit of a power trip. Said NCO went on to become a Company Sergeant Major and Master Cadet, with the best course report from CTC Frimley Park that I have ever read. The moral of this particular story is to give your boss some credit. If you are concerned that a staff member is telling porkies about you, go and tell your side of the story.

Related: Generation Kill is a good series that I recommend watching, but this quote particularly spoke to me and is relevant in situations like this: https://www.youtube.com/embed/gguxM8eABP8?start=71&end=93


#8

Sounds like a situation that is getting out of hand.

I would bring your parents up to speed and then speak to your OC or another senior member of staff you trust initially. Cadets do get shouted at, especially when you have a bunch of feral recruits and you need to get their attention.

Above all, I would say, its not the staff sgt’s position to say whether you would be thrown out. That decision is with your OC so try not to feel intimidated by the threat. Be polite to the staff sgt to avoid disrespect being mentioned and let your OC deal with it.


#9

Actually, it lies with the Regional Commandant.


#10

That maybe the case however, the OC would look pretty stupid if he hadn’t made a recommendation.


#11

I was only brought to the office by the staff sgt. Thank you for your advice. I will be discussing this with my OC.


#12

Another case of six of one and half a dozen of the other.
This is a cadet to cadet situation why the adult staff have involved to this extent baffles me and why or how the OC isn’t aware I can’t understand. Unless you are on a squadron which is a massive building and the OC has a lift into their office and never sets eyes or ears on what is happening, the OC should be aware and asking questions. There is very little that escapes me and not get dealt with, either by me or me directing staff as to what to do.

To say it’s got out of hand would be an understatement of the nth magnitude.

As for being kicked out no worries on your part. If the OC initiated the paperwork based on what’s been said, without speaking to everyone and not see this is just as I say a cadet on cadet situation, he’d get a WTF are you playing at from Wing. As said if this gets beyond a bit of chat from the OC, get mum and dad involved.


#13

Hmm if there was one of my staff I wouldnt have been pleased and had a word in their ear.He has overstepped his authority saying stuff like this.It is not even in the OCs power to say who will be thrown out of the corps.Back in the olden days OCs had that power but these days it lies higher up the chain and has to be evidenced thoroughly.


#14

This is the problem with BADER where nobody can get access to ACPs and see the rules.


#15

Cadets “should” have access to the generic account…but do they? Nope


#16

I would suggest that regular cadets absolutely should not - senior cadets only with a specific reason and after completing the usual mandatory on-line training. The general account also grants access to mail and that is dangerous. This will all go when personal accounts are rolled out and I cannot see accounts being created for cadets after that time (which may be something to look at before the change.)

Of course, ACP20 could be made available via the cadet portal when it is rolled out, but it is a bit intense. Perhaps chapter 5 could be put on there.

The cadet code of conduct (PI501 Annex A) ought to be handed to each cadet and that could/should be made available on the portal. As well as laying out the expectations put upon a cadet it does also detail the complaints procedure, but could possibly be expanded upon a little.


#17

Read the FAQs. Their plan is to make it part of the sign up to an account like the SyOps.


#18

I’d speak to your OC and let him know exactly what’s happened. If you tell them now it’s going to work in your favour. Be aware that it is entirely possible that the staff know what this Sgt is like and may not completely like him themselves.

I wouldn’t worry about it really, if your CO ever asks you what happened you can explain in full (again) and it likely won’t be a problem.