Cpl on my sqn keeps asking for lifts

[AlexCorbin]

Some of the described behaviour is a safeguarding issue and god knows what may happen if not tackled now, if you feel you can not discuss with Sqn Staff you can always contact your Wing Safefuarding Officer in confidence on cpa.INSERTWING@rafac.mod.gov.uk

[Eeh_Bah_Gum]

Just come to this and totally agree with Alex on this. Better raise now than the situation blows up both at cadets and staff level.

CPAs, in my experience, are a very useful sounding board for issues like these, even if the outcome is outside their AOR.

[Ex-Everything]

Go speak to the OC. I would want any of my cadets to come to me if this was going on as there is a lot that can be done. When he becomes 18 he should not be contacting any under 18 cadets.

@izzyexistent

If my parents are unable to give us a lift he expects me to ask someone else going to that event or look up the train times for him or to ask our OC if he could give us a lift for an event he attends.

This is madness and I would ignore the request. If he is pulling rank then tell him it is an unreasonable request as it is not your responsibility to organise his travel.

I agree with @Farmerdan with their list:

@Farmerdan

• Say No
• If he pushes you, say No
• If he tells you to arrange him a lift, say No
• If he pushes still, say No and tell the OC.

These situations are never easy but the right thing to do is to report it to another staff member / OC and make it their problem.

[Paracetamol]

No ifs no buts, speak to your OC.

If you dont want to do that, WEXO or child protection advisor.

[Dad2james]

I agree completely that you should be speaking out - it’s up to you who you feel most comfortable.

This could be your OC, Padre or another member of adult staff.

It’s very hard saying no - especially when you’ve said yes, so many times before.

In an ideal world, you shouldn’t be made to feel uncomfortable saying no, ever.

Your parents sound extremely supportive, and you’re right to not want to keep asking - especially if it’s always one way.

In its simplest, you can say “this isn’t fair on my parents.- they’re happy to help when they can, but they have their own commitments.”

Removing rank from the matter - it’s not a fair balance. The fact that they are a Cpl makes it even less fair.

Often, persistent behaviour can be indicative of other issues. This could be as simple as they struggle making friends and really like you - but if they respected you, they should recognise boundaries and when they’re asking too much.

You don’t mention how they behave towards you, outside of cadets…

[Baldrick]

We’ve removed a post from this thread, because it demonstrates a frankly alarming attitude towards safeguarding attitudes that I am saddened/horrified to think came from anyone who is currently a member of staff in the organisation.