Cadet relationships when not dating

Usually it’s no PDAs in working hours, and no sex on school premises. You have to balance with the pupils’ right to a private life under ECHR. As a country, we allow 16 year olds to have sex and get married, and 18 year olds are treated as adults; so you can’t ban relationships, but you can impose the same rules you do on the adults teaching them in working time.

Really complicated in terms of boarding schools, of course; I wonder how long it will be before someone brings a case that it is a breach of human rights to prevent 16+ children having sex in school given that is where they live.

Sounds pretty similar to how we operate…

Not that the question was relevant to the original query of platonic contact for comfort reasons.

To me, if OP needs it, then out of the way and not during activities. If really required during activity or lesson periods, then remove self from the situation - with minimal disruption.

But if this isn’t discussed and agreed by all relevant persons (I.e. An action plan, informally in the spirit of an EHC) then the issue of potentially unfair chastisement will simply continue. Allowing this to continue unabated, especially if there’s an official diagnosis, would open the Sqn up to all kinds of potential issues.

it’s good to have an idea what systems similar groups use, to see if what you do is proportionate and or fair. We do this at work all the time, via the industry working groups we attend, where things like working practice, methodologies and problems members come across are shared.

The fact the Air Cadets seems to think it is the guardian of all that is good, but seems to engender a mind set via its training and publications, which means if cadets show affection, less they be ridiculed by fellow cadets as per the OP and this in this instance seems to have gone unchallenged, is poor. I very much doubt that in any school those responsible for discipline go around shouting “6 inch rule” or similar. it’s one thing to have standards it’s something else completely when you have a small group on a squadron interpreting things their own way and causing distress.

The only action plan required is to tell the NCOs to stop being idiots.

We have an action plan in place already that was set out before i fully joined cadets, I don’t really want to have to ask the OC to pull all of the NCOs into a meeting and discuss this yet again. My friend and I do not disrupt the effectiveness running of the squadron in anyway, We might sit somewhere and hold hands or hug at break but that is literally all now. We have had 3 new OCs since I’ve joined but our current OC was in the meeting to start with becasue she used to be Adj of our squadron. The NCO team have had a briefing since i mentioned it to the OC again a week ago, they have soon stopped making comments since the threat of loosing rank for this was said. I think personally as NCOs and staff should just leave cadets be like this, if it doesn’t effect the effectiveness and everyday running of the sqn then whats the problem?

There are some good and useful answers in here. Posting on this forum will give you an answer and more. Most say the right answer and some have the right answer with a degree of difference to the last.

I would advise you speak to your OC. The longer you leave something then the worse it will get. Asking on here will give you answers but ultimately what we say has little meaning or use for you. Your OC and staff team are in a position to help you directly so talk to them.

Eh??? You have had numerous, in-depth, appropriate replies with relevant information. Surely you must also have had direction / guidance outside of cadets for when such anxiety / panic attacks occur? If not, then perhaps you should look at seeking suitable help / specialist guidance - school for example?