What do I do about a cadet who believes they have more power than others?
Just a note, my friend created this message and asked me to put it on here.
At my squadron, we have a cadet (who I will call Cadet R) believes they have more power than everyone else. Cadet R makes me and other cadets feel upset because some cadets get in more trouble and others do not. And Cadet R belives they can scold other cadets for the smallest things ever and cadet R gets involved with things that do not involve her. Cdt R makes others feel less involved when she takes part in activities when it involves group work (teamwork) she takes over the whole assignment and controls everyone.Cadet R also likes to threaten to tell SNCOs that cadets are messing around and this makes newer cadets scared of this cadet and it makes it so the cadet cannot have fun.Cdt R thinks that she is superior to everyone as she has been there a month longer than most of us and acts like she is a higher rank many of the cadets at my sqn do also complain about her being like this. She does not have the rights to act like this as she does not have a rank. She gives other cadets warnings and says that she will tell the OC if it happens again.I do realise she is going for a promotion but sometimes Cadet R uses their power too much, when she is commanding a flight she tells people not to speak or move although when she is the person in the flight she talks to another cadet and moves around. Cdt r acts all nice when the NCOs are around but once they are gone Cdt r abuses her “leadership powers” and makes everyone feel horrible. Many cadets do not show up for the night due to Cdt r as they feel that they are less important.You may say, go to an SNCO or our staff but this cadet gets along with all the staff and NCOs and they are friends so if we go to any NCO or Staff member they will certainly say we are lying.
There have been situations in the past of this cadet making others feel that they cannot be in the air cadets anymore and this has made cadets leave.
I am wondering what i could do about this, if any staff could help please respond to this.
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If you have any issues with a cadet on sqn you should raise it to your oc. Preferably with witnesses.
Theres a fine line between leadership potential and abuse of power
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First of all, well done for raising the issue and taking the initiative to address this.
If you can, raise this with staff. If you’re not comfortable, because you think you’ll be told you’re lying, get a group of several cadets to speak to the staff member at the same time. Just explain your concerns about some of Cadet R’s behaviour, as you have here. Focus on the behaviour, not the individual i.e. when Cdt R says this, we feel like this.
While it might seem like Cadet R is friendly with the staff and SNCOs, this is a cadet welfare matter and very few staff would ignore it, especially if cadets are staying away or even leaving because of it. The staff should thank you for raising your concerns, then separately speak to Cadet R, without telling her who raised the issues.
If, unfortunately, you have staff who are going to ignore it, then I’d suggest that the group of cadets speak to parents and then parents approach the OC. It’s more difficult to ignore parents and you’ll get support from them too.
The issue can be escalated beyond the OC,. but that’s for another post and hopefully won’t be necessary.
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A simple reply of “just speak to your staff” or wondering why ACC is preferable for first contact than anyone on unit isn’t helpful here.
Part of their issue is a perception of and concern about how their staff might react or think - a fear that needs allaying. You can’t just dismiss that by telling to speak to the people they’re worried about!
They’ve come for a staff perspective from disinterested 3rd parties to gain insight that they don’t have and guidance over how to make an approach/progress.
The truth should be that regardless of current preceptions the sqn’s staff have over this cadet, the concerns of other cadets should be treated with understanding and sincerity. Their staff can’t know everything and can’t fix anything they aren’t aware of.
@random_cadet, your friend needs to have the confidence to have these conversations. It may feel like they won’t be believed, but that shouldn’t happen. Staff aren’t “friends” with cadets. What I’d suggest is closely along the same lines of @grounded’s comments - two or three who feel the same speaking to anyone they’re most comfortable speaking to about it initially and asking them for support to raise it further up the chain if it’s not the OC or Sqn WO/SNCO spoken to first. Have specific examples of situations and actions ready, who was there, etc. Have someone who avoids coming in say that with reasons why.
Reports made need to be as factual and objective as possible - “this was happening, they did/said this, this was the outcome, it made me feel like this”. Not “they’re an [insult]”.
There are a number of ways staff can act to try to monitor and corroborate even if not taking immediate action.
Something to consider is it’s possible that this cadet doesn’t fully recognise the errors of their actions - where they’re falling short of good leadership behaviours. But again, if that’s to be mentored out of them, those who can do that need to know what’s happening. That doesn’t absolve this cadet, but if action is taken and this cadet does end up improving or at least trying, don’t take any prejudice forward, because sceptical views and actions will show through and not help the situation, potentially eliciting further negative responses from them.
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Wow that is a lot of anger.
@Giminion has covered this off earlier on.
Let me ask one question. What is the worst that will happen if cadet R did go to the SNCO’s or even the OC? It sounds to me like it is time to call their bluff. Reading between the lines, Cdt R will jump right down the rabbit hole you want her to if done properly.
As recommended earlier, gather your evidence, have people ready, and be objective (write down so that you can include everything). Cdt R sounds like she is a bit of a bully so when she scolds a cadet for something and then threatens to tell, encourage that to happen. Note… don’t do this when she is leading a flight as, for whatever reason she is out the front, she is in charge.
What I’m saying here is that a conversation does need to happen through the chain of command. I personally, as an OC, would be less than impressed if a cadet came straight to me saying cadets are messing around without going through their chain of command. I’m not saying I wouldn’t deal with it but I would reset the starting point for that cadet so that she could learn. You either get them to force the conversation or, as a group, start it with the most appropriate (trusted) person of rank.
Just because Cdt R appears to get on with everyone doesn’t mean they have special privileges. If you have cadets not turning up or, worse, leaving, it would be a very stupid Squadron to not look at what is really happening objectively.
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