Asked by CO to have a talk with guardian present


#1

Ok so pretty much I was accused of “Bullying” a cadet by a fair few other cadets, and my CO called me in to her office today to ask if my guardian could come in that evening to talk about it. And I’ll admit I told a lie to get out of doing it today, anyways then then said if I could do it next Monday. Thing is I’m really worried at how my guardian will respond and I don’t exactly have the best confidence in these issues and it isnt the first time i have been accused of stuff that i didnt do (or it was a modified truth)But it has gotten to a point where in really worried about what will happen and am considering leaving to avoid it. I just need some advice on this as I’m really not sure how to handle it.


#2

Speak to your guardian first, don’t ignore problems.


#3

If you leave, then you will most definitely appear guilty regardless of whether you are or not.

Speak to your guardian and explain your side of the story. This talk with the CO and your guardian is your chance to tell your side of the story, so don’t waste it.


#4

Agree with the above, go in with your guardian and have the chat. Have your say.


#5

Thing is I really don’t have the confidence


#6

That’s why you have a guardian with you. They will support you through this. It might not be as bad as you think. Just be truthful.


#7

Have confidence in the truth, as that’s all you need to say.

Explain to your guardian what happened beforehand, and what you’ve been accused of.

Going through it with them will help you when your OC asks you explain what has happened - you’ve basically rehearsed it.

Try to relax (as helpful as that advice may or may not be) and answer any questions calmly. Just tell your story - that’s all they want to hear.


#8

Just be open and honest with everyone.

As mentioned, speak to your guardian and tell them everything. They are there to support you.

You CO is just following protocol and if there is nothing to answer to then you’re in the clear.


#9

That last bit’s important. Your CO isn’t doing this because they’ve already decided you’re guilty; they’re doing it because that’s the proper procedure if someone says you are bullying them. The first thing they want to do is hear your side of the story and they want your guardian there to help you, not to make you feel awkward.


#10

Have confidence in yourself and tell the truth whatever it may be.

Your OC will be following due process and it is this process and ACP20 which will determine the outcome based on the information you give.

Very few situations are irretrievable.


#11

As said speak to your guardian. Explain what you are alleged to have said/done. The word guardian would suggest social services involvement, if I am correct and you have a social worker or keyworker invite them as well. That’ll throw your OC off their stride, as they are possibly more entitled than you guardian.
The accusers will or should be spoken to separately to ascertain what happened.
Then a weighing up of all sides.

In my experience bullying seems to be overplayed and invariably ends up with a slap on the wrist.


#12

Much like you I have been accused of similar things in the past. My advice that was given is " If you’re not guilty then you will have nothing to worry about " If you truly feel and know you have done none of the sort then don’t stress about it. Overthinking the situation will only make it worse