Adults with late diagnoses of ADHD

Adult Staff The Staff Mess
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Sharp inhale of breath…

I am 99% certain I have undiagnosed ADHD. The fact that I am meant to be doing my tax return right NOW, but I’m finding it more important to write this instead, is probably a strong indicator!

The reason for my certainty, is due to the amount of research I’ve been doing to support my other child… who is actually certain that they are Autistic, rather than ADHD.

I don’t want to start going in to chapter and verse right know about everything I’ve found out over the last few months - but I did want to raise attention to a few matters.

Following a presentation at our child’s school by one of the leading experts on Neuro Diversity, I was shocked to learn that an estimated 1 in 4 kids are on the spectrum somewhere - and 1 in 5 adults in the workforce.

They even went on to suggest that these figures are almost certainly underestimated - and that the figure is more like 1 in 3 across the board, if not greater…!

Secondly - name any celebrity, major actor, billionaire, entrepreneur etc… chances are, they’re in the spectrum…

People with ND can be exceptionally high achievers…

(My excuse is I’m easily distracted - ooh look, squirrel!)

The biggest problem for me, is trying to keep up with daily life, work (self employed), ageing parents with complex health issues and struggling to prioritise / organise / stay on track.

But it’s looking at character traits associated with ND, that suggests to me; that there are an enormous number of staff that might be in a similar boat to me…

Access to a formal diagnosis is of little concern for me - frankly, if I get one it would simply be for validation purposes - as I don’t feel my mental or physical health is being compromised… BUT…

For anyone that my story rings a bell with, I would urge you to take a listen to a podcast hosted by Fearne Cotton; interviewing a woman called Lucinda Miller - a Naturapath who has written a book about nutrition and ADHD.

The podcast is quite short - but the amount of information is boggling!

In particular, the amount of young people (and adults!) with ADHD and other ND; that have a deficiency of ZINC, IRON or MAGNESIUM - or even a combination of all three…

These three minerals are all pretty cheap and easy to find.

I’m not going to spoil the podcast for you - but I would urge you to listen to it.

For the record - I consider myself High Functioning and Low Care - meaning that to all outward appearances I seem “normal” or “neuro-typical”.

Give aways that point out to the contrary:

Impulsivity
Humour - not always as filtered as it ought to be… but generally a constant stream of jokes…
“Very perky” as if over excited
People Pleaser - often over promising or gong out of my way to be helpful…
Poor time management
Lacking in empathy / over empathic - yeah, you can be both!
Misreading body language in others
Compulsive Behaviour / comfort in pattern and routine, disliking breaks in those patterns
Lack of focus / easily distracted / daydreaming
Poor working memory
Poor working memory (see what I did there! Did I mention jokes!)
Struggle keeping friends
Fiercely loyal of friends…

The biggest problem for me to come to terms with, was where to find information - where to even start…

But Lucinda Miller’s podcast made so much sense…

Oh well - back to the taxes…

Did I mention poor working memory…?

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Started doing the assessment process with my kids.

I have spoken to the doctors, and had to complete a questionnaire on it for myself.

Was told its a 3 to 4 year wait for an assessment for adults.

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Thanks for outting yourself @Dad2james! Rest assured, you’re not alone in this organisation with regards ND. In fact, I would say we’re probably over represented within it - something about “birds of a feather…”

“NHS right to chose” is your friend. Whilst it won’t eliminate the delay, it can bring it down to the 12-24 month bracket.

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On the basis that HMRC might have, er, politely, made errors in PAYE, etc, as they have with mine (despite full notification of circumstances), I would get the self-assessment filed soonest. You won’t have many days left to pay any outstanding tax / get any adjustment placed into the next yr, or sort out any HMRC errors.

As HMRC didn’t accurately reflect the changes in my financial circumstances - the advisor said “not identified” - this has had a knock-on to have a “payment on account” for this current tax year - to settle a tax bill that won’t be there as my employment ceased.

So, it’s a right mess, not helped by the huge delays in getting through to them (thank goodness the helpline number is free) & the varying degree in accuracy for information given. Last week, I had the most informative / accurate advice in over 30 yrs of having to action self-assessments. If this had happened a yr ago, then I wouldn’t be trying to sort out their pile of poop!

Now I have to action a complaint / review under ESC A19, deep joy. :angry:

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Sadly, quite accurate - but… look up “right to choose”, there’s something where adults can use certain private providers and be paid for by the NHS.

Part of the problem I’m finding in the bewildering amount of information - but lack of clear simple answers…!

Ultimately for a diagnosis, it HAS to be carried out by a psychiatrist. And a paediatric one at that for kids…

As you will be well aware, access to resources is scarce!

We’ve been waiting for our child’s referral for well over a year and still no sign of it being anytime soon.

We’re going to try to get a private assessment, but have been told by our GP practice that they’re no longer obliged to accept a private diagnosis… (Shared Pathway).

This WILL mean that we have a letter that we can give the school - but will also mean that we CAN’T access NHS funding for prescriptions / treatment / counselling… all of which we will have to pay for, until their NHS referral eventually comes up.

For the record - following the advice of a zinc supplement we’re all taking it and have definitely seen a significant improvement across a range of aspects…

The nicest quote I’ve heard, when trying to reassure someone that’s worried about being ND:

“You’re not a bad horse… no matter how hard you try, you will never be a horse… there may be plenty of other horses running around, being horsey… but you’re not one of them…

But people will often confuse you for a horse, because you look so similar to a horse - and THEY don’t appreciate the difference…

You’re not a horse, so stop “trying to be one”…

You’re a ZEBRA!!!

An absolutely perfect, amazing, incredible, beautiful / handsome ZEBRA!

And that’s why you’re struggling - other people keep telling you you’re a horse and need to behave and look like a horse…

Be a ZEBRA!

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I’m only too aware… alas, despite knowing the deadline is looming… I still struggle with staying focused…:

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Another few considerations:

Looking at how someone is and what problems they face now is only part of the story, and you need to look at how they were as a child, adolescent, and young adult. Also, consider things that don’t immediately present as problems, but under inspection there are subconscious coping mechanisms in place that others don’t need.

Life stages can highlight things as well - from education into work, employed into self employed, etc. Shifting from one predetermined structure to another, or to none at all.

Diagnoses are often missed in intelligent and high performing children and young people due to masking - doesn’t matter if you don’t do your homework if you only need 5 minutes in the morning to complete; doesn’t matter if you aren’t “paying attention” if you can somehow not listen but then still repeat a statement verbatim when challenged, or just work out an answer to a question from context clues, or teach yourself the topic on the fly as you work through tasks.

I know a few people in their late 20s to mid 30s that have referrals and diagnoses, and you regularly hear of people 40s and up receiving diagnoses as well. I wonder if there’s a potential link with that first age group in particular - either brain development, life experience, a notable degradation in effectiveness of unconscious mitigations. Or it could simply be that group is the first to be most curious during a period of the social paradigm shifting around neurodiversity. It feels like it may be statistically significant somehow in some context if someone looked at the data.

I can tell you this much: it seems that writing half a sentence followed by “I completely forgot what I was about to write” on your referral questionnaire might be a good way to get it accepted.

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Close the blinds / curtains to stop squirrel watching! :wink: Switch off mobile 'phone.

Collate your tax paperwork if not already actioned. Complete the SA - you certainly won’t find an accountant with 9 working days to go to the deadline.

If consultant-led, you have 18 weeks for a suitable appointment to be made - just fighting that battle with an NHS Trust for a family member…

Tip : Did you know that in most cases you have the legal right to choose the hospital or service you’d like to go to, as well as the clinical team led by a consultant or named healthcare professional?

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Pulled this out separately…

CEOs often scored highly for psychopathy too.

Aside from that, entertainers, artists, musicians. There are a lot of streamers and youtubers that are either diagnosed as or considered likely ND. Two hugely successful ones that come to mind immediately are Markiplier and Jacksepticeye - the latter of which also recently received an autism diagnosis in addition to ADHD (ADHD diagnosis was early 2022 and Autism Nov 24). They are 34/35. Mark was diagnosed aged 20.

Perhaps the rise of the influencer and their traits being so public is another factor in people seeking answers in the demographics that are old enough to have been overlooked in their younger years but young enough to more likely follow internet personalities.

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Yeah - not my first rodeo… this is my 7th time of doing my SA… want to have a guess at how many times it hasn’t been completed in January…?

It helps having most of my receipts sent as electronic copies… but I’ve discovered on at least three occasions I didn’t receive an electronic copy of what I was expecting! (About £2k worth)

“What dopamine addiction?” I hear you ask…

Any excuse to do something else…

On the other hand - it could explain why the noise and excitement of Nijmegen is such fun!

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Nope - this one is pulling her hair out at chasing clients for paperwork to complete their SA. Last one emailed back this morning to a request for more information, with I am available Tues 6pm onwards or Wed 8am-9am for a call to discuss the information you’ve asked for. I’m trying to reduce their tax bill but apparently it’s not a priority :rofl:

In all seriousness @Dad2james if you do need a hand with your SA please get in touch, I’ve only got one left and I can’t speak to him until Wednesday morning and thank you for such an open and honest post, I’m sure I’m not the only one thinking some of those sound familiar.

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Many thanks for the offer - I’ll be fine (he says in a slightly less than convincing tone…), it’s not my first rodeo. I use simple cash accounts; I’ve got all my invoices, just going through all my receipts and putting them in to order… then double checking that I’ve got only one or the other out of paper copy or e-receipt.

Recycled a ream and a half of paper so far printing out e-receipts so far…

Biggest pain in the rear is the fuel per mile allowance hasn’t shifted in years - unlike the cost of running a vehicle - but it’s made me keep a better record of every work journey…!

What doesn’t help is it coincides with Mum2James having “bird-flu”, or whatever the female version of “man-flu” is…, so I’m playing nurse as well as bookkeeper…

All with the attention span of a hyperactive gnat, gorging itself on redbull and skittles on a hot summers day!

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Autism/ADHD something we are widely slowly understanding and how we can support people as well. Its something we are working on within RAFAC as an early issue i saw was all these staff who don’t know anything about these conditions yet are expected to look after cadets etc with these various conditions and the behaviours that can come with them.

My squadron is a rare one were about 60percent of our cadets have Autism/ADHD and some are pre assessment. They all have varying degrees of autism from mild to severe and others you would never know, but they all require certain supports whether it be learning or activities etc. Something i am working on is so our staff and all our cadets have an understanding of what autism etc is and how we can support others around us whether it be within rafac or out in everyday lives. This i hope eventually becomes part of initial staff training at some point.

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