We see that in non-league football with threats and assaults in particular against referee’s, some who now have personal bodycams.
The reverse is true regarding parents being present as well following the Whyte Report into abuse within British Gymnastics.
My other half was involved as a safeguarding officer within a BG club for one of the sports that they regulate and for advice BG were useless, she gave up the safeguarding role and eventually left the organisation for other reasons.
I didn’t mean that I literally wanted to “tear off their heads”, I meant that I wanted to be empowered to discpline them in a manner proportionate to the offence. Meaning that if they muck up big time e.g. assaulting or harassing other cadets, then I feel that I should have the right to tell them off, and if they won’t listen then I should have to shout at them. I would call that a reasonable form of chastisement. If however, I’m not allowed then I won’t. Fine.
I haven’t got a problem with that, I don’t blame you one bit. That’s not my true ambition at all, all I want to do is help make them better people. It’s not like I can just tell them that “it’s fine, I’ll see you next week” if they’re assaulting or harassing other cadets, can I?
Fair enough, I have no problem with sticking up for myself unless the problems I encounter are particularly egregious in which case I would report it up the CoC and leave it to someone uninvolved.
It’s not that you’re not allowed to, but if as an adult you’re stood shouting at a 13 year old at a club then something has gone wrong, very wrong.
If you have to shout at an individual (clearly you might need to shout at a group to physically be heard) then you’ve lost control. Even the drill instructors in the US marines (think Jarhead screaming) have stopped. It’s pretty meaningless and arguably quite destructive for both parties.
It’s not like the ‘good old days’, but I know which style I prefer!
Yeah, dont do that. Its my job to be grumpy fun police one, and i dont even do that.
As I said, if I’m not allowed to then that’s fine.
It’s not our right to tell them off, it’s our responsibility to both safeguard and mentor; part of that is coaching appropriate behaviour. “A manner proportionate to the offence” is correct, but your idea of what that looks like is very off.
I wouldn’t. The clearest thing to me is that you have a lot to learn about situation management, building respect and relationships within professional boundaries, and the psychology of leadership and management (especially child and or neurodiverse psychology). That’s fine, because those things are hard (and realistically most CFAV are amateurs in these areas that know enough to get by), but you need to let go of your preconceptions and be willing to learn and implement these things if you want to help develop teenagers. Do you think that having boundaries and relationships built through mutual respect, empathy, and understanding will create better people, or getting shouted at and “told off”?
Rexan has beaten me to the loss of control point. I remember very well the angry teachers from my youth, and how some revelled in pushing those buttons and laughing at the results. Lose control and you lose respect.
And finally, assertive =/= aggressive. They are mutually exclusive, different sections of the scale.
I always figured that “tear off their heads” was a clumsy figure of speech, but unfortunately even your roll-backs on that aren’t sitting comfortably.
You keep using terms such as “I want”, “empowered”, “right”, “chastise”, “lay down the law” and approaching the whole thing from a preconception that something will happen that will provide you with the opportunity to enact this kind of power fantasy.
You’re incredibly focused on these aspects of working with young people; yes, others including me have picked up on the language and you are attempting to defend yourself (sometimes you need to take feedback on the chin and move on, btw), but that’s not the only reason people are responding.
Central to your reason for wanting to join the ATC (and ACF according to your bio) is the idea that it won’t be like the youth club you were at before - where you weren’t allowed to dole out your particular flavour of discipline.
Unfortunately, your own focus and language is very telling…
…because would it be fine though? Why would it be fine for you in the ATC if it wasn’t acceptable to you at the youth club? You previously said it should be your “right” and was “reasonable chastisement”…
Honestly, if you come through this, manage to do some self-reflection, and then still go for it and make a success of it then power to you. You’re not being attacked right now, but the things you’ve said have got a lot of very experienced people very concerned and unanimously saying “this is not the way it works” - that needs to be a wake up call for you to reconsider altogether (i.e. this isn’t a suitable path for you) or at least realise that there’s a lot that you need to let go of before stepping through any unit’s gates.
However, based on things highlighted and perhaps also some less focused on in this thread, I don’t think you have the right motivations or attitudes for wanting to work with young people.
If this is what you will openly say (& as expanded in your subsequent discussion points), then please don’t bother with volunteering with any ATC or similar organisation.
If you aren’t being listened to that’s usually a reflection on yeh person doing the talking rather than the listener.
Glad I’m not the only one with the uneasy feeling that someone has spent too much time watching Full Metal Jacket.
Bloody hell.
You’re talking about shouting at kids for not listening to you.
Christ, I don’t even do this for my grown up subordinates.
What about dealing with Superiors?
Maybe the answer to the thread title should just be “no”?
Just sobbing to myself in the corner over their poor decision making.
Yes. Wait. I mean no. Or yes. No?
“Should I volunteer for my local ATC?”
No.
As others have described in much more depth than I’m going to, you have provided several red flags that suggest you’re currently unsuited to working with children and young people (CYP). Bluntly, you come across as a walking, talking safeguarding incident waiting to happen.
So no, you shouldn’t volunteer for your local ATC.
It’s a no from me. Not welcome on my unit with that attitude. We build the kids up, not tear them down
Locked. The answer is pretty clear - the OP, if this isn’t trolling, should not be involved in supporting any form of vulnerable people with the current attitudes.