That’s the whole reason why it is better the more people do it, so that those who transition and want to be referred to differently don’t feel they stand out.
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Recognised by?
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Whoever wrote it I assume.
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People can refer to me with whatever pronoun they like. Whether I shall bother to acknowledge and reply however…
Post nominals, yes I have some. Do I bother to use them ordinarily for work or Cadets? Nope. Do some people use them as the key weapon in their ‘how can I try and feel like I am getting one up and one over on someone else’ sadly far too many…
Being serious though, I feel the only post nominals that can be used across all platforms / jobs etc is those that are awarded following a trip to the Palace.
said alexw Gold D of E
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Did anything official come about about the use of RAFVR(T) Ret’d when there was the change to cadet forces commission?
What post noms do you get at Selhurst Park?
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VD with Bar
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Well played! Dopey brains here didn’t fully think that one through…
There’s a Sqn Ldr in C&E I had to contact once, having never met them. I had their first name from an earlier email, but couldn’t tell if they were male or female (or other) as the name was not one I knew, nor could I tell it’s gender. So a preferred pronoun would have been rather helpful, as I got it wrong.
Why not just
Dear Sqn Ldr Smith
? 
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It was the most gender neutral first email ever. But maintaining that formality when the replies are very much informal, becomes more difficult.
Do agree with this, I have had to email a few people work wise where not knowing them personally could not work out their gender. Also I have recently seen a man abbreviate their name, but in such a manner that would ordinarily lead one to believe it was an abbreviated female name.
More or less looks like this:
“Please don’t be that guy”
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A bit of soshial meeja data-mining pulls up most of them! 
Anyway, if you know their first name (& consider it appropriate to use of course), then surely “Hi XXXX” on any e-comms will do the trick?
That said, some of my EU work colleagues have names that can really throw you for gender options! In Italian, Andrea is primarily a masculine name, whereas in Portugal, it’s very much female.
Purley anecdotally, but although we were promised that we would retain the right to use the Joe Blogs RAF VR(T) Retd, when my friend decided to leave after 20 or so years service (the last 5 being as a Sqn Ldr), there was no mention of it on his letter.
That’s because you need to be a Flt Lt and above to keep a retired rank. HQAC stated to a friend even though he was a Sqn Ldr his substantive rank is Fg Off there for we are not entitled to use retired ranks.
Except in the case of the VR(T), where AP1919 explicitly stated that if had 10 years service, you could retain your acting paid rank as long as you were Flt Lt above.
As confirmed by Group Captain North in the CFC Q and A section.
Now, all references to the retention of rank have been quietly dropped, and the letter from the Air Force board apparently no longer confers the right to the ‘Retd’ post nominal.
Although I doubt that I’d ever use it, I am a bit annoyed that something that we were promised has been withdrawn, without anyone bothering to tell us. Also, people who chose to bail out when the CFC was announced have been accorded a privilege that those of us who chose to continue have now had removed from them.
The only time I know of people to use there “retired” is those who still take part in remembrance parades and mess dinners.